


Forever With You

by darkrose705



Series: A Shot in the Dark [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-16 05:42:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2257941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkrose705/pseuds/darkrose705
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan and Riley are starting a new chapter in their life together, convinced that their love can survive anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Love Like Ours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley has been waiting for this moment. The day she marries Ryan. Today is the first day as Mrs. Ryan Haywood.

I pace the room, my wedding dress draping behind me. I stop in front of the mirror. My lace sweetheart neckline dress clings to all my upper body, then flows out around my waist. My hair strawberry blonde hair is loosely curled and my bangs are pinned out of my face.

"Everything will be fine! Why are you so nervous?" Olivia straightens out her light blue knee length bridesmaids dress.

"I don't know!" I begin to bite my nails.

"Look, nothing is going to change! Ryan isn't going to act any different once your married." Olivia hands me my bouquet. "Now, let's get started. Your future husband is waiting for you!"

Ashlynn tugs on the bottom of my dress. "Mommy, you look pretty."

I smile, kneeling down to her level. "Thank you, honey. You look pretty, too! Now, where did you put your flowers?"

"Over here," Ashlynn fetches a basket from the table. "Do I start now?" She asks, getting ready to throw some flowers.

"Not yet, sweetie," I giggle. "Wait until you walk down the aisle."

There's a knock at the door. Johanna peeks her head in. "Ready?"

"We'll be right out." Olivia rolls her eyes. Johanna backs out of the room. "Hey, she used to like Brendon, right? You think she still does?" Olivia growls. Nothing is scarier than a jealous Olivia.

"Even if she did, Brendon is crazy about you." I assure her. To be honest, I'm surprised they're still together. Olivia doesn't stay in a relationship for more than a month. "Now, go get in line. I'm ready to get married!" I cheer.

We exit the room Ashlynn runs ahead of the line. Olivia links arms with Eric. Eric was thrilled when Ryan asked him to be his best man.

Mom places a hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to go get seated now. Don't be nervous. I love you and I know you and Ryan will be happy together." She smiles as she begins to walk away,

"Mom, wait!" I call her back. "I want you to walk me down the aisle."

"I can't do that! Tradition states that the father gives the daughter away!"

"Dad would want you to do it and it's my wedding. I'll do what I want. Screw tradition." I say firmly.

Mom smiles and links arms with me. "You were always a unique girl. You never wanted to do things quite like everyone else."

"What can I say," I comment. "My name fits me."

The wedding party files out. I wait by the door as they take their place at front. I come from around the corner. All heads turn to face me. I keep focused on the most important person in the room.

James Ryan Haywood.

He was waiting for me. Once he sees me, his eyes soften. He breaks out in a proud, heartfelt smile. This is the man I'm about to marry.

His light brown hair is neatly combed, his blue eyes are sparkling. He looks so young (Not that I'm calling my soon- to- be husband old).

My stomach flips as I approach him. Mom sits in front and I'm standing in front of Ryan.

"You look absolutely stunning." He whispers, just loud enough for me to hear. I blush. My heart begins to pound as our wedding begins.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of Riley Anne Thomas and James Ryan Haywood-" The minister begins.

"Tomwood for life!" Olivia shouts. I shoot a glare at her. She's lucky I'm in a good mood. I should kill her.

"Let's take a moment to explain why they're having a wedding on a Tuesday. Obviously, this is very unusual for a wedding ." The audience chuckles. "As we all know, Riley and Ryan are not traditional people. The date is April 12, 2018. Exactly four years ago today, Ryan and Riley began to date. Four long years. The couple has overcome so much. They are here today with their beautiful three year old daughter, Ashlynn-"

"That's me!" Ashlynn squeals with delight. Ryan and I laugh. She runs up front to us and Ryan scoops her up.

"And Ryan's son, Eric, to become one family. Ryan and Riley have written their own vows."

Ryan and I exchange glances. "Ladies first." He smirks.

"Don't feel bad if I upstage you," I tease as I unfold my vows. "Ryan," I begin to read. "I'm not good with words. Honestly, I was almost tempted to make Brendon write my vows for me, but then you would be marrying him, and not me." I pause as the audience laughs. "When I met you, I didn't want a relationship. I did't want the hassle and the pain. But, you never gave up on me. And you showed me that a love like ours was worth all the drama and misunderstandings and all the other silly things. But more importantly, our love didn't make all that  _seem_  like a hassle. Every moment was worth it. If you could go back about five or six years, and told the twenty year old me that I would be standing here today, moments from becoming your wife, I would never believe it. Being with you, as cheesy as it sounds, has literally been a dream come true."

"It's like a story book!" Ashlynn says in awe. 

Ryan chuckles. "Yes, Princess. Only better because this is real."

I put away my vows and take Ashlynn from Ryan. I can't wait to hear what he wrote.

Ryan clears his throat getting ready to speak. 

"Wait," I stop him. "Where are your vows? Didn't you write them?"

"Oh, I don't need to write mine down. I know exactly what I want to say to you."

Damn, a memorized vow? You win this round, Haywood. Oh wait, I'm about to be a Haywood, too!

"Before I met you, I was a miserable man. I just went to work and went straight home after. I had no direction in life and no hope.I didn't care about what was going to happen to me. This continued for eight years of my life. And then I met you. I knew what I wanted the moment I laid eyes on you. I don't know what came over me, but for the first time in years, I had hope. I had the drive to want to better myself and become the type of man that is worthy of being with you. To this day, I still believe that you deserve the very best, and I try to meet those expectations. Maybe I don't make it all the time. But I'm just a man, I give you all that I can and I pray that it's enough. My promise to you in front of all of our friends and family is that I will put you and Ashlynn before me at all times. I'm not perfect, but I can damn well try to be the best husband and father I can be."

I wipe tears away. There's no doubt in my mind that I picked the right man to spend the rest of my life with.

"James Ryan Haywood, do you take Riley Anne Thomas to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." Ryan takes my hand and kisses it.

"Riley Anne Thomas, do you take James Ryan Haywood as your lawfully wedding husband."

"I do." I smile.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss-" Before the minister can finish, Ryan is pulling me in for our first kiss as husband and wife.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We are on our way to our reception. Ryan and I rented a limo. (Yay! No driving for us!) Eric and Ashlynn are with Olivia, waiting for us to arrive. "You're so far away," I pout. I get out of my seat and crawl onto Ryan's lap. "That's better."

Ryan instinctively wraps his arms around me, holding me close. "My beautiful wife." He smiles, planting kisses on the crook of my neck. I blush as run my fingers through this hair. "I can't wait to get you alone."

"Ryan," I mumble. "Don't say things like that."

"What? You can't get away from me on the honeymoon. I'm pretty sure we won't be leaving the room." He smirks. "Well, we're here, anyway. So, I guess I'll leave you alone."

The limo parks in front and we step out. Hand in hand, we walk into the reception hall. "Mommy!" Ashlynn runs from Olivia's side. I bend down to pick her up. "There's cake!"

"I know, sweetheart." I smile. I notice she has frosting on her cheeks. "Ashlynn, honey. What's on your face?"

"Uh, Ri," Ryan points in the direction on the cake. "It seems the sugar monster has beaten us to the cake."

I look over. One of the corners of the cake has a chunk missing. A small chunk. A toddler size chunk.

"Ashlynn Nicole," I brought her to eye level. "Did you eat cake without permission?"

"No!" She panics. "Mr. Burnie said I could have a lil' bit!"

I scan the room. I spot Burnie, pointing and laughing from a distance. "Asshole." I shake my head.

"Hey, it's just a little bit of cake. No big deal." Ryan plants a kiss on my cheek. "Nothing can ruin our wedding. Not even Burnie." Ryan steals Ashylnn from my arms. "Here, I'll go get her cleaned up." He turns his attention to Ashlynn. "What did you think, Ashlynn?" He asks. "Did Daddy pick out a good cake?"

"Yeah!" Ashlynn cheers.

"That's my little taste tester." He cuddles Ashlynn as he takes her away. 

I swear, he's going to spoil her.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We have to dance in front of everyone?" I whisper as Ryan pulls me close. All eyes are on us as we stand in the middle of the abandoned dance floor.

"Uh, yeah? That's kinda the point of the first dance. What's the big deal? People saw us dancing at Michael and Lindsay's wedding."

"That's different. Everyone's looking this time." I mumble. 

"You know how I wouldn't tell you what song I picked? Well, listen to every word and keep looking at me and you'll forget about everyone." Ryan promises. 

We lock eyes as the song starts. He chose The Moon Song by Karen O & Ezra Koenig. 

"Why this song?" I ask.

"This... I listen to this and I think about you. No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I'm always going to love you, and I know you'll be loving me, too."

I blush. "Why the hell are you being so romantic?" I say stubbornly, resting my head on his shoulder.

"Oh, you know, it being our wedding day and all, I figured I better show a little emotion." He says sarcastically.

"I hate you." I smile. I really do like this song for us... It's fitting. I find myself singing along softly.

"I'm lying on the moon...."

"My dear, I'll be there soon." Ryan sings along into my ear. I smile. No one can hear us over the music. This song is like our little secret. Just between us. Even if we aren't the best singers in the world, the song sounds perfect to me.

"It's a quiet starry place. Time we're swallowed up in space-" I continue to sing.

"We're here a million miles away." We harmonize.

"There's things I wish I knew." I sing.

"There's no thing I'd keep from you..." Ryan continues. We sway back in forth, singing to each other, forgetting the world around us.....

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you think everyone is having a good time? Like was it a good idea inviting Carolyn?" I shout over the music. Ryan and I sit off the side, watching our guests dance.

"Of course. Carolyn has enough alcohol in her system to keep the party interesting." He chuckles. "I don't think she's after me anymore. You know, she congratulated us earlier."

"Hey, it seems Sara has found someone to talk to." I point in the direction of Sara. She's talking with the bartender.

"Good for her." Ryan nods. "She really does deserve a good guy."

"Yeah, let's hope this one keeps her away from you." I smirk.

Ryan takes my hand and brings it to his lips. "Even if he doesn't, nothing is going to break my attention from you. I'm completely yours." He promises.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Thanks for coming!" I wave to the last group of people as they leave. "Okay, let's get cleaning." I sigh. I hate cleaning up after a party.

"What are you talking about?!" Olivia scoffs. "It's your Wedding! You guys don't have to clean. Don't worry about it. Brendon and I will take care of it!"

"What?" Brendon says with a mouth full of cake.

"Thanks, Olivia. Have you seen Ashlynn?" I look around the room.

"She's here," Eric approaches, with a sleeping Ashlynn on his back. 

"Oh, right, you gotta get home to get some sleep!" Ryan says. "First day of middle school tomorrow. You have a big day ahead of you."

"Whatever." Eric shrugs. He walks outside to get in the limo.

Ryan's forehead creases. "Whatever?!"

I giggle. "He's going to be a teenager soon, baby. Better get used to that."

"Shit," Ryan mumbles under his breath. "I'm not ready for that."

"Hey, you have me and Sara to keep him in line." I remind him.

We get in the limo and get dropped off home. Eric goes straight in the house with Ashlynn.

"I know we're not traditional people, but," Ryan lifts me bridal style and carries me into the house. "That's something I wanted to do with you." He says, setting me back down. Eric passes Ashlynn to Ryan and goes to his room.

"Are we sure we packed everything for next week?" I follow behind Ryan as he goes to tuck Ashlynn in bed.

"Yeah. So where is your mother? Isn't she staying here?"

"She, um.... Wanted to stay at a hotel for tonight. She said she didn't want to hear... us..." I mumble. "She'll be here tomorrow. And she'll be able to watch Ashlynn all next week while we're gone on the honeymoon."

We exit Ashlynn's room and go to ours. "So, speaking of our honeymoon," Ryan closes the door, unbuttoning his shirt. "Why don't we get a little practice in before that?" He pulls my body close to his, pressing his lips against mine.

"Ryan," I pull away. "Eric is still awake."

"We'll just have to keep you quiet," Ryan runs his thumb across my bottom lip. He gently unravels the corset back on my dress and slides it off my body. He backs me onto the bed. "Let's see.... We can use my tie to muffle those sexy moans.." His voice is husky. He begins to loosen his tie as he hovers over me. I crash my lips to his. I can't deny him of what he wants when he's talking to me like that. Still kissing, I help him get undressed. We slide under the covers.

"Mommy! Daddy!" 

Ryan and I freeze as we feel a small pounce on the bed. "I wanna sleep in here tonight!.... Why are you trying to crush Mommy? You're too heavy!" Ashlynn has now invited herself in... She really is starting to take after Olivia. 

"Ashlynn," Ryan holds back a laugh. "Why don't you go back to your room? Go sleep in your big girl bed."

"I wanna be with Daddy!" Ashlynn says stubbornly.

"Okay, Princess," Ryan sighs, rolling off of me. He reaches to the side of the bed and slides his boxers back on and I reach for my robe. I'm pretty sure the moment is dead, even if we convinced her to leave. "Hop in. Go to sleep." Ryan says as he turns off the lights. Ashlynn crawls in bed, in between us. Ashlynn cuddles up under Ryan's arm. I'll admit, I'm a little jealous. Not of Ashlynn, but of Ryan. Every time Ashlynn talks, she mentions her Daddy. Every time she makes something, she gives it to Ryan. I'm happy that she loves him. Sometimes, I feel that she doesn't love me as much as Ryan.... But I'll push that thought away for now. Tonight is the start of a new chapter in our lives. This is a happy occasion and nothing will bring me down from this perfect night.


	2. Beginning of the End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year after being married to Ryan, Riley is not happy with the direction the relationship is going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REALLY QUICK NOTE! PLEASE READ! It has been brought to my attention that Geoff doesn't want Millie in any fanfics. Although not a lot of people know this, or choose not to listen to this, I decided to take Millie out. I've changed the name to Lori. I even went back to all chapters and changed the name. So if you can, just imagine a different girl, because it's not Millie. This may sound silly, but even though Geoff is never going to see this, it would be on my conscious that I let one of my heroes down by not doing the ONE THING he asked from his fans. It's a small change and people may think it's pointless, but it's a change that means a lot to me. (This was copied and pasted from my other story. I'm just trying to get this message out to clear up any future confusion. Now that I've replaced her, Lori will play a bit of an important role later. I'm excited for that to come up.)

"Come on, you have to eat something!" I beg holding a plate of whole wheat toast with peanut butter. Ashlynn crosses her little arms and shakes her head. 

This is a typical day for me and Ashlynn. 

I sigh and put the plate down. Ryan comes into the kitchen. 

"Daddy!" Ashlynn cheers.

"I'm running a bit late. I'll just grab a coffee to go."

I pout. "But I made breakfast!"

Ryan chuckles. "You actually made something and you didn't burn the house? Impressive. Well, if I had time, I would eat. But I just can't right now."

I sigh. "The to- go cups are in the cabinets."

Ryan grabs a cup and starts pouring his coffee.

"Daddy didn't say hi to me..." Ashlynn whispers to me as Ryan starts heading out the door. 

"Ryan!" I call behind him.

Ryan peeks his head in the kitchen. "What?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" I point to a sad Ashlynn.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry!" Ryan sets down his coffee. He lifts Ashlynn out of her highchair, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Good morning! You're going to be a good girl today, right?"

"Yeah!" Ashlynn answers.

"She's already being bad." I shake my head. "She refuses to eat."

"Here," Ryan sets her in her chair. "Let me try!" Ryan picks up her plate and holds the toast in front of her. She keeps her mouth shut. "That's okay. This is mine, anyway." Ryan shrugs, then takes a bite of toast.

"My food." Ashlynn pouts.

"Hm? But you didn't want it a second ago." Ryan inches the food closer to her. Without hesitation, Ashlynn goes to take a bite. Ryan pulls the toast away from her. "Not so fast. This belongs to Daddy now."

"I want!" Ashlynn whines.

"Okay, Princess. Here." Ryan smiles, holding the toast to her. Ashlynn takes it from his hands, scarfing it down.

Ryan smirks. "That's how you get a four year old to eat." Ryan plants a kiss on my cheek. "Bye, Riley."

Eric stumbles into the kitchen, squinting his eyes and grumbling. Ryan narrows his eyes. "Whoa, bud. Why are you still here? It's about to be 10:00."

"Relax. There's no school today." Eric rolls his eyes.

"Oh, right..." Ryan pauses. Lately, I've been worried about Eric and Ryan's relationship. Eric has been snapping more at him and Ryan doesn't know how to respond. Of course, Eric being the polite boy young man he is, ends up mumbling an apology later and all is forgotten.

"How about some breakfast?" I ask Eric, breaking the tension in the room.

"Yes, please." He rubs his eyes as he sits at the table.

"Well, I'll see everyone after work." Ryan waves.

"Bye, sweetie." I respond as I fix Eric a plate of scrambles eggs and toast.

"Bye, Dad." Eric grumbles.

"Bye bye, Daddy!" Ashlynn waves back.

Once Ryan leaves, I set Eric's food in front of him. "Your school isn't really having a day off, is it?"

"Yes it is!" Eric argues.

"I'm not stupid, Eric. I'm younger than your dad. I know all these little tricks you're trying to play." I remind him. "Now, what's going on?"

"What makes you so sure I'm lying?"

"Well, there's nothing on the school website about school being off today."

Eric huffs. "Okay, you caught me. I hate having a young mom." He pouts. "I just don't want to go to school!"

"But why?"

Eric mumbles. ".... School dance..."

"What was that? It's terrible when you mumble!" I scold. Jeez, I sound like an old woman.

Eric groans. "The school is having a stupid school dance!"

Ohhhh, I remember these days. The zits, the bad hair days, the awkward interactions with a guy. Luckily, I had video games to help me get over the pain of not being asked out. At least I got hot later in life. "That sounds fun!" I lie.

"I don't wanna go! I just want to stay home!" Eric groans.

"Sweetie, no one is going to force you to go." I reason.

"But I wanna go..." Eric mumbles.

"Make up your mind!" I chuckle.

"Okay, I want to go! But every one is going with some one!"

Ah, middle school. A time when every one thought that everything was the end of the world. "Do you want to ask someone? Because you don't have to. No one can make you do something you don't want to."

"I don't know." Eric blushes. 

Ah ha! I got it! Eric is too shy! "What's her name?" I cross my arms.

Eric mumbles. "It's nobody."

"If it's nobody, then why did you get all shy?" I ask. Eric doesn't answer. He begins eating his eggs in silence. "Eat up. I'm taking you to school afterwards."

"Aww! Riley!" Eric whines.

"Nope. Not going to work. You need to go to school." And that was final. Eric ate in silence. Once he finished eating, he went to get dressed. I pull Ashlynn out of her high chair. "Oh! Look at Mommy's big girl! She ate all of her food!" I cuddle her. Ashlynn giggles as I take her outside. "Eric!" I call up the steps. "Hurry up! We're waiting in the car!"

Eric trots down the steps. "Okay! I'm coming."

We pile into the mini van. I know, I'm officially a soccer mom, right? The mini van was cheap, safe, and something that could help me get around town while Ryan was at work.

We pull into the school parking lot. The middle school is only about five minutes from our house. "This is torture." Eric grumbles as he gets out of the car.

"Have fun." I kiss his forehead.

"Bye bye, Eric!" Ashlynn waves from the backseat.

"See ya' later." Eric sighs and slams the car door.

"Okay, what shall we do now, Ashlynn?" I ask, pulling out of the parking lot.

"Ice cream!" She cheers.

"Maybe after lunch. Why don't we go to the grocery store?"

"Nooo..." Ashlynn grumbles.

I sigh. "If you're a good girl, you will get ice cream."

Ashlynn suddenly has a change in attitude. "Yeah! Let's go!" That's what I thought.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hmm...." I check the time after putting the groceries away. Ryan should be having lunch soon. "Ashlynn, want to go visit Daddy at work?"

"Yayyyy!!!" Ashlynn runs past me and out the door.

"Wait for Mommy!" I laugh as I lock the front door. 

Ashlynn is jumping up and down by the car. "Let's go now! Let's see Daddy!"

I lock Ashlynn in her car seat and drive to the Rooster Teeth studio. I miss the old office. I haven't come to work here yet, so I'm not quite used to it.

I carry Ashlynn through the first floor. "Where's Daddy?" She grumbles.

"He should be behind this door here. We have to be very quiet when we go in. Daddy might be working." I tell her. Ashlynn nods in understanding and we walk into the Achievement Hunter office.

Everyone in the office is focused on their monitors. I think they are wrapping up a recording.

"Alright! Lunch time!" Geoff calls. He stands out of his desk and sees me. "Oh, Riley! It's been a while! How are you going? And hello, Ashlynn."

Ashlynn worms her way out of my arms and rushes to Ryan. "Daddy!"

"Ashlynn Nicole! Someone was speaking to you!" I scold.

"It's fine," Geoff laughs. "She wants to see her Dad."

"Riley!" Tabby scrambles out of her desk and attempts to tackle me to the ground.

"Hi, Tabby." I chuckle, holding her back. I've always been slightly stronger than her.

"Tabby! Let's go! Lunch!" Gavin flings her over his shoulder and carries her out. 

"But I wanna talk to Riley!" Tabby protests as they leave.

"So how are things going?" Geoff asks again.

"Pretty good. Not much going on." I shrug.

"You know, you're always welcome to come back to work." Geoff offers.

"I know. You say it every time I stop by," I nod. "But who would watch Ashlynn? I have to be home with her and hiring a sitter would be too much money."

"I understand. But she's starting school next year, right? Maybe you could come back part time or something."

"Well, we do need the money...." I think out loud. I don't even want to think about Ashlynn starting school. I'm going to miss her so much.

"You do?" Geoff looks concerned. "Are you and Ryan having money problems?" He lowers his voice.

"Well..." I hesitate. I know I can trust Geoff, but I don't know how Ryan would feel about me talking about it. "I guess it's not that bad. It's just we're trying to balance raising two kids, still paying off the house, the wedding, and medical bills and Ryan is the only one bringing in money. We're making it by okay, but I think Ryan is starting to worry. We haven't even started saving for Ashlynn's college fund because we barely have money to spare. Luckily, Sara is taking care of half of Eric's college fund."

"Well, even if you can't come in, you can work from home. I know we talked about it briefly over the years but you should really consider it. You can record at home and I can even give you some things to edit from home. Would that help out?" Geoff offers.

Why haven't I thought about that? That sounds like a great idea! "Sounds good, Geoff. I would love to do that."

"Great! I'll email you with more details and we will go from there."

"Thanks, Geoff. Enjoy your lunch!" I wave as Geoff leaves the office. I walk over to Ryan. He's sitting at his desk with Ashlynn on his lap.

"What's this, Daddy?" Ashlynn picked up the old Tower of Pimps model.

"That's a little trophy we used to pass around every time one of us won a Minecraft game," Ryan explains. "We haven't played that in years."

"Thank God." Ray mumbles as he leaves the office. 

"So, where do you want to go for lunch? I can drive us somewhere." I offer.

Ryan sighs and lifts Ashlynn off his lap. "I really don't have time to leave the office. I'm working on a project and I need to get it done soon. I'm working straight through lunch."

"That doesn't sound healthy," I argue. "You didn't eat this morning, either. Come on, we drove over here to spend some time with you. Just take an half hour to eat something." 

"I said I can't. Okay?" Ryan snaps. I narrow my eyes at him. Ashlynn begins to whimper. Ryan slowly realizes his mistake. "I'm sorry. I'm just really tired and I-"

"It's fine. Forget it." I growl. I storm out with Ashlynn in my arms. I hate when he does this! He's always "too busy".

"Daddy..." Ashlynn peeks over my shoulder, reaching out towards Ryan.

"You can't stay with Daddy. He's busy." I explain. Our life wasn't always like this. Lately, Ryan has been so snappy. He's been coming home late, he's been eating less, and he's having problems sleeping. I don't know what's bothering him He won't even talk to me about it. I mean, isn't that what I'm here for? As his wife, isn't he suppose to talk to me? Apparently, not....

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm laying on the living room couch. I can hear Ryan walking in through the front door. It's 9:00. I hate when he comes home this late. "Ashlynn is already tucked in," I say as he tries to sneak past me. "She was really upset. She hasn't heard a bedtime story from you in two weeks."

Ryan sighs. "I got caught up-"

"In a stupid project," I snap. "I know! It's been the same excuse for months now! God, Ryan! When did you become like this?! And what kind of a project? You fucking play video games for a living!"

"Look, I'm sorry," Ryan lowers his voice. "I'm sorry for everything. For snapping earlier, for the past few months, just everything. I really am trying."

"Trying what, Ryan? All I ask is that you spend a little time with your family. Is that too much to ask from you?"

"No," Ryan shakes his head. "But you have to remember that I'm the only one working right now. I'm getting more hours at work for the family. Money is a little tight right now."

"I know. That's why I talked to Geoff and he's agreeing to let me record and edit from home."

Ryan narrows his eyes. "You talked to Geoff about this?!"

"What's the big deal?" I shrug. "Now we can both work and make money. I can finally help out more around here."

"Why did you tell Geoff?" Ryan continues to glare.

"Because we need the money. What's your problem?" 

"My problem is that now I look like I can't provide for my own family. I can do this on my own!" Ryan grumbles. He walks into the kitchen, throwing his bag on the table.

Oooookay then....

"When the hell did you become backwards thinking asshole? This isn't the 1940's! You shouldn't have to work to support a family on your own." I get up and follow him into the kitchen. I can't believe he's being like this!

"I have been doing fine supporting us on my own for the last four years! Why is this a problem now?" Ryan 

"Baby, it's not a problem! I'm just trying to help!"

Ryan sits at the kitchen table. "... You're right. Sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me, lately." Ryan rest his head in his hands.

"Take a shot with me? " I offer. He looks like he could use it.

Ryan shakes his head. "You know I don't do that very often. But could you get me a diet Coke?"

I nod, smiling. That's the Ryan I love. I take out the handle of vodka from the freezer and reach into the fridge for his drink. I slide the Coke across the table.

"Ashlynn is asleep, huh?" Ryan asks, cracking open his drink.

"Last time I checked, yeah."

".... Did she go right to sleep, or..." Ryan knows how Ashlynn is when he doesn't tuck her in.

I take a shot before answering. "She was crying." I admit. I hate making him feel guilty.

"Shit," He massages his forehead. "Maybe I could use a shot after all." He says in a half- joking tone. " I'll take the day off tomorrow. I'll spend some time with Ashlynn."

I clear my throat. "Did you forget about me?" 

"Hey, you're about to get all my attention tonight. You shouldn't be complaining." Ryan smirks.

I smile. "Here," I slide a shot of vodka to him. "I know things are tough right now. I'm sorry for being so hard on you earlier. Ashlynn, Eric, and I miss you."

Without hesitation, Ryan gulps down the shot. "When did I become a bad father?"

"You're not!" I argue.

"Eric doesn't even like to talk to me and I haven't spent too much time with Ashlynn. They hate me."

"First off, Ashlynn adores you no matter what. That little girl will never see a downside with you. And Eric is a teenager now. He's going through a rough time right now."

"But he gets along with you," Ryan pouts. "Ashlynn is so easy to figure out. You pay attention to her, hold her, and then she's the happiest kid in the world. Every time I'm in the same room as Eric, it's like he wants to bite my head off."

"It's just hormones," I assure him. "Speaking of Eric, there's a school dance coming up. I think he's really nervous. I think he needs Super Dad to talk to him." I slide between Ryan and the table and straddle his waist. 

"Huh. Super Dad? I hope you don't mean me," Ryan sulks. "I'll talk to him, anyway."

"You're a great father and an amazing husband." I kiss the spot right below his ear, just the way he likes.

I feel Ryan begin to tense up. I smirk. I got him right where I want him.

"Ashlynn's asleep?" Ryan gulps.

I nod, continuing to nibble on his spot.

"And where's Eric?"

"Sara picked Eric up for her week with him." I whisper. "We're the only ones awake in the house and you can do whatever you want to me."

Ryan shivers, wrapping his arms around me. He lifts me off his lap and sets me on the table. "I want you now." He lays me down, gripping onto my hips. He slides me closer to him and presses his forming erection against me.

"We shouldn't do this here." A moan escapes my lips.

Ryan smirks. "Your body is betraying you."

"Well, at least take me to the room."

"Nah," Ryan shakes his head. "I'm not waiting." Ryan slips his fingers into the top of my jeans, inching closer to my underwear.

As much as I want him, I really don't want to do this in the kitchen. We eat here. "I'll give you a blow job if we go to the room." I promise.

Ryan's eyes gleam. "Deal!" Ryan is no longer hovering over me and is now racing up stairs. When he sees I'm not behind him, he stops half way up the stairs. "Are you coming?! I kinda need your assistance for this part!" Ryan whines.

"Jeez, one second you're a seducing me and the next, you're an impatient, whiny brat." I giggle, hopping off the table.

I notice a silhouette on the front door followed by a key rattling. Uh oh.... Only one other person has a key to this house....

"No," Ryan whines. "So close!"

Olivia storms into the house with an over night bag. "I'm staying here! I never want to go back to that house and I never want to see Brendon again!" She huffs, plopping down on the couch.

God damn it, Olivia.....


	3. Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia isn't the only one with something weighing on her mind.

"Okay," I sigh, sitting next to Olivia. "What's wrong?"

"I told you! I never want to see Brendon again! I'm leaving him for good!" Olivia crosses her arms.

"What did he do?" Ryan asks, not sounding interested at all.

"Yeah, what did he do? Things were going great with you two." I add.

"He said the worst thing he could ever say to me!" Olivia huffs. "He's so insensitive!"

"He's a romance writer. I'm pretty sure he's sensitive." I chuckle. "Anyway, what did he say to you?"

"He said.... that word...." She shivered.

"What word?" Ryan at this point has given up. He sits next to me on the couch.

"The M word."

Oh. That's what this is about.

"M word?" Ryan turns to me for clarification.

"Marriage." I tell him.

"Ah." Ryan nods.

"Why don't you tell us what happened." I turn my attention back to Olivia.

"Okay," Olivia pauses to think. "We were laying in bed, talking. He brought up how long we've been together, and that things are going really well, and that's when he asked me if I ever saw me and him getting married."

"What did you say?"

"I jumped out of bed and screamed at him! I mean, come on! It's been, what? Three and a half years! If he knew me at all, he would know marriage is out of the question!" Olivia pouts. "Why would he do this to us?"

"Livy, we've known Brendon since we were kids. And you knew that getting married was something he's wanted for a long time. He mentioned marrying me when we were dating-"

"And I won." Ryan cuts me off, bringing my hand to his lips.

"Yes, you did," I smile. "But seriously, you knew what he wanted in life before you dated him."

"I know! But I was hoping he would get over that. So now that I know that's what he wants, I'm leaving him." Olivia looks to the floor. "I will never be a perfect wife. That's not who I am! I can't be the person he wants me to be. But what I can do, is leave, so he CAN find that person."

"Olivia, you love him." I remind her.

"I know," She nods. "But he's going to be much happier without me."

"I don't get it," Ryan jumps in. "Isn't this what every girl wants? To find a guy that wants get married?"

"Not every girl," Olivia turns her nose up at the thought. "I've never been able to have a long term relationship. Brendon is the first. So how can he expect me to be ready to settle down when we're so young?"

"Maybe you should talk to Brendon?" I offer. "I support your decision, but maybe you should talk to him and make sure he understands."

"Maybe you two can work things out." Ryan says as the front door opens.

"Olivia!" Brendon charges in. "Where the hell have you been?!"

"Apparently, no one knocks anymore." Ryan grumbles.

"Go away!" Olivia crosses her arms. "I don't want to talk to you!"

"Livy.." I sigh.

"You can't just leave like that! You never even gave us a chance to talk about things!"

"What's there to talk about?" Olivia's voice is softer. "You want to get married. And I don't. That's not going to change. So I don't want to stand in the way of you getting what you want."

"You fucking idiot," Brendon shouts. "I don't want to get married to just anyone! I want you!"

Olivia turns her face away, hiding a grin. "Me?"

"Yes, idiot!" Brendon shuffles his feet. 

Ryan pulls me up and leads me out of the living room. "Let's leave them be." He leads me up the steps. Once up the stairs, I listen in. Ryan sighs and goes into our bedroom.

"It's always been you that I wanted! I brought up getting married because I wanted to show you that I'm serious about us. I want you and only you forever." Brendon scratches the back of his head and avoids eye contact. Brendon is doing what I call his "cool guy" act. He does this when he's expressing his feelings but he doesn't want to come off as sensitive.

"That scares me..." Olivia mutters.

"I love you. Don't you know that?"

"Of course..." Olivia finally looks in his direction.

"And you love me, right?"

"More than anything." Olivia says with certainty.

"Then you're already committed to me more than you would like to think." Brendon chuckles and pulls Olivia to her feet. "I love you, Olivia. I don't think I can say that enough. I just want you. If you don't want to get married, then that's fine."

Olivia bites her lip. "Well," She looks into his green eyes. "I don't want to get married."

"That's fine." Brendon nods.

"But... I suppose you could buy me a ring. If you want..." Olivia mumbles.

"You want a ring? I can do that."

"And I suppose," Olivia continues. "If you want, we can have our friends and family watch as you give me the ring...."

"Okay.... Wait, what?!" Brendon smiles.

"And I suppose it's a special occasion, so I should get a nice dress. I do look good in white..."

"Does that mean you want to get married?"

"I never said that!" Olivia blushes.

"That's what it sounds like-"

"Stop! Don't push it!" Olivia pouts.

"Is that a yes?" Brendon asks with hope.

"It's a yes." Olivia nods.

I squeal silently. My Olivia is getting married!

"Shall we go home... You know, celebrate?" Brendon takes her hand. Olivia nods and picks up her bags and they leave.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I think we might be rushing this shopping thing...." Olivia grumbles.

"Since when do you not want to shop?! Besides," I argue, pulling her into the wedding dress shop, holding Ashlynn's hand. "You're only looking. This will give you an idea of what you want in a wedding dress."

"Where did the boys go?" Olivia looks around.

"Ryan took Brendon to the Tux place down the street."

Olivia gulps. She shifts through the dresses in silence. "Hey, Ri," She finally says. "I know this goes without saying, but I want you to be my... person."

"Maid of Honor?" I laugh.

"Don't say that! It sounds like I'm getting married!" She whines.

"You are!"

"No! I'm not!" Olivia grumbles.

"Says the girl, looking through wedding dresses," I tease. "So, can I ask what made you change your mind?"

Olivia knows what I'm talking about. She doesn't even begin to argue. "I've never seen someone want me so much," She answers. "No one has fought for me as much as Brendon had. He's had my heart since the beginning. I've never had a long term relationship because no man could live up to the expectations of Brendon."

"Sorry I stood in the way." I smile weakly.

"You didn't stand in the way. I'm sorry I feel for someone I shouldn't have." Olivia shrugs.

I start at her in shock. "What does that mean? Clearly, you have him now."

"Well, maybe this is.... Never mind." Olivia shakes her head.

Is Olivia having doubts? She's the one who agreed to marry him! Maybe she should think this through...

"Mommy, can I try on a dress?" Ashlynn looks up at me.

"No, honey. We're here for Olivia." I tell her. "If you're a good girl, I'll talk to Daddy about getting you a new outfit. Okay?"

Ashlynn smiles and starts humming to herself. What a strange little girl. But I love her to death.

"This," Olivia's eyes sparkled. "I like this." She pulls out a puffy, ball gown wedding dress.

"Pretty!" Ashlynn squeaks.

"It does suit you." I agree. A Princess looking dress? That's definitely Olivia's style.

"Can.... Can I try it on?" Olivia holds the dress close to her.

"Let's find a sales lady." I nod. We walk up to a clerk. "Pardon me, my friend would like to try this on."

"Certainly. Right this way." We follow the sales clerk into the dressing room area. "Would you like some help? That's a hard dress to get into."

Olivia nods and the close the curtain. I sit in a chair, waiting for them to come out.

"So, when's the big day?" I hear the clerk ask her.

"Oh, we haven't decided yet. But I'm really excited. I wanted to look around early." Olivia responds.

Awww cute! She's excited. That's a good sign.

"Awww! He's a lucky man, whoever he is."

"She." Olivia corrects.

Wait. Oh no! She's not going to do what I think she's doing!

"Oh! I'm sorry! Well, she's a lucky lady!"

"Yeah, that's actually my fiancee sitting outside."

I hold back a snicker. Oh, Olivia. Why?

"Oh, she shouldn't see the dress then, right?" The clerk asks.

"I want her to. I love her and her opinion means the world to me." Olivia sighs happily.

It's getting harder not to laugh. Olivia, why are you making my life difficult?!

"Oh, Darling," Olivia sings. "Ready to see the dress?"

"Of course, my love." I answer.

Olivia steps out. The dress is well fitted on her upper body, then puffs out into a full skirt. "I love this." Olivia smiles, looking at herself in the mirror.

"You look beautiful," I tell her. "I can't wait to watch you walk down the aisle with that dress on." I try not to die laughing at this point.

"Hmm... I don't know if this is the one yet. I haven't tried on any dresses but this one, dear." She reminds me. Olivia is good at faking. She hasn't broken character once.

"True," I nod. "But keep this one in mind. You look like royalty."

"You guys are so cute!" The clerk smiles. "How long have you guys been together."

"We've known each other since kindergarten. We've been official for ten years now." Olivia says.

"We've been waiting for it to become legal. We're going to New York." I say, continuing the lie.

"Well, folks here in Texas are a bit narrow minded. I hope you know you all are in for quite a ride. But I support you two!" The clerk says. "Did you want to look around some more?" 

"No," Olivia shakes her head. "But is there anyway I can have this on hold? I want to make sure it's really the dress for me."

The walk back into the dressing room. "Usually, we're not supposed to, but for you, the best I can do is hide it for about two weeks." The clerk answers.

"Perfect!" Olivia giggles. "Thank you!"

Olivia steps out of the dressing room once she's finished. We start walking out. Ryan and Eric are waiting in the front.

"Hey, sweetie," Ryan smiles and kisses me on the cheek. "So I think-"

In the corner of my eye, I see the clerk watching us. 

"Let's go! Tell me everything at later!" I pull Ryan out of the store. He looks very confused.

We head back to the cars, telling the boys about our little joke. "I can't believe you did that! Why did you lie to that poor woman?" I laugh.

"Tee hee! I don't know! Couldn't you see us getting married?" Olivia giggles.

"Well, you certainly are over enough." Ryan rolls his eyes.

Brendon shakes his head. "Well, while you two were clowning around, I got fitted. I didn't purchase the tux yet. We still need to talk about the date."

Olivia goes quiet.

 He scoops up Ashlynn. "How was my little Princess today?" He cuddles her.

She giggles. "I was good! I should get ice cream!"

"Hmmm? Should we?" Ryan looks over at me.

"I don't think so. I don't want to spoil her dinner-"

"Nah, she'll be fine." Ryan sets Ashlynn in her car seat and buckles her in.

"Why do you bother asking me?" I sigh. We wave goodbye to Brendon and Olivia and drive our separate ways.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashlynn, of course, refused to eat dinner because Ryan decided to let her have ice cream.

"Ashlynn, Honey, please? Just have two bites of everything." I plead.

Ashlynn shakes her head. "Icky."

"Sweetie, if you have a few bites, it will make Daddy very happy." Ryan reasons.

"Daddy." She smiles and begins to eat. 

I glare at Ryan as he smirks to himself.

After dinner, we allow Ashlynn to watch some T.V. She picks out her favorite Sesame Street DVD and Ryan sets it up for her. "Daddy, watch with me." I hear Ashlynn whine from the kitchen.

"Daddy's going to help Mommy with the dishes first. I'll be right back." He promises.

Ryan joins me into the kitchen and starts helping me wash the dishes. "You actually want to help?" I chuckle. "What did you do wrong?"

"Nothing!" He laughs. "Can't I help my wife without wanting something?"

My heart flutters every time he calls me his wife. It still makes me happy to know he chose me. "No, you always want something."

"Okay, well," Ryan starts drying the dishes. "I've been doing a lot of thinking-"

"Boy, that sounds dangerous." I smirk.

"Shut up," He smiles. "I'm trying to be serious."

"Okay, go on."

"I was thinking," Ryan continues. "Now that I'm doing more hours and you are starting to work from home soon, we're going to have a good amount of money coming in."

"True.We can start saving for Ashlynn and start paying back some bills." I nod.

"Well, that's one idea. But I think we will also have enough money for something else."

"Daddy!" Ashlynn shouts. "Come on!"

"Hold on!" Ryan calls back. "Anyway," He continues. "If we budget correctly, and-"

"Daddy!"

"I said hold on, Sweetie!" Ryan shouts.

"Why don't you cut to the chase, Ryan. The Princess is getting impatient." I giggle.

Ryan sets down the dish he finished drying and faces me. "I want to have another baby."

The dish I was scrubbing drops into the sink. I stare at the sink in shock. Another one? "Ryan, that's pretty much impossible right now-"

"Wait, just listen. I really want another baby." He begs. 

"W- where is this coming from, Ryan?" I stammer.

"I've been thinking a lot and I think it's time for another baby."

"Thinking? About what exactly?! You know we're barely getting by now, and a baby is expensive! You can't just decide you want another just like that!" I ramble.

"I know! But can we at least talk about it? I think we will be okay with money and I think Ashlynn would love to have a sibling." Ryan tries to reason.

"Ryan, I don't know! This seems crazy! When did you expect to start trying?"

".... Tonight?" Ryan shrinks back.

"Tonight?!" I repeat.

"DADDY!" Ashlynn screams.

Ryan sighs. "Coming, Princess!" He turns his attention back to me. "Please? Let's talk some more after Ashlynn goes to sleep." He walks into the living room, leaving me alone, stunned.

Another baby? What is he thinking?! There's no way we have time or money for another baby. It's impossible! 

I peek into the living room. Ryan is sitting on the couch, Ashlynn leaning on his arm. He is good with Ashlynn. A little too good. I think that's the other problem. Not only can we not afford it, he's not good at punishment. Actually, he's never even yelled at Ashlynn.

And the thought of what my body is going to go through again. I don't know if I can take it. It would be a huge honor to have his baby again. I just don't know if right now is the right time.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I pace the bedroom floor. I don't even know what I'm going to say to him.

Ryan comes in the room. "I'm back. Ashlynn went right to sleep." He closes the door behind him.

"Okay, so I'll let you continue your thought. Why do you-" I'm silenced by Ryan crashing his lips to mine. I pull away. "What are you doing?"

"I love you," Ryan answers. "I love you. I love Ashlynn. I just love our family. Is it bad that I want another baby?"

"It's not wrong, but it is unrealistic...."

"Why?" Ryan releases me and starts pacing the room. Why is he acting so weird? "Why is it unrealistic?! Other people have like five children and they get by just fine!"

"They have different circumstances than us! You can't expect our situation to go like other peoples!" I reason. "I'm not saying no, I'm just saying it has to wait."

"No. It can't wait." Ryan sighs.

"What's the rush?" I ask.

"I'm going to be 39," Ryan says in a sorrowful tone. "I'm.... I'm getting old...."

I look at him in shock. "That's not old!" He's still young. He's definitely still a great lover. So I don't know why he's so worried. I wrap my arms around his neck for comfort.

"I want a bigger family, Riley," Ryannuzzles my neck. "I really do believe it's time for another baby. If you don't want to, that's fine. I just wanted to let you know how I felt."

"I don't know, Ryan," I sigh. I feel Ryan begin to nip at my neck. I giggle. "You're still trying, aren't you?"

"Please. I know we can do this." His hands grasp my waist and he holds my body flush to his. He rests his forehead against mine, his eyes full of lust.

"You will buy me whatever I want." I say. "No questions asked."

"Are you agreeing?" He raises an eyebrow.

I nod. "We can try. But it's only because we're going to be catching up in bills after I start working from home."

Ryan pushes me back on the bed, kissing me feverishly. "God, I love you so much." Ryan says in between kisses.

"I think I spoil you." I run my fingers through his hair. 

Ryan gets up to turn out the lights. Another baby, huh? At least this time we will be expecting the little one.


	4. You Can't Escape the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric's first dance is quickly approaching and he's nervous. The dance isn't the only thing causing him stress. His mother Sara is seeing a new man, and Eric is not ready to meet him. Well, not if Riley has anything to say about it.

"Anything yet?" Ryan peeks his head into the bathroom.

"Will you get out of here?!" I growl. "The pregnancy test needs two more minutes."

Ryan, totally ignoring my request, walks in, closing the door behind him. "I can't wait!" He smiles. "Can't you see it? A new baby crawling around the house? Who knows! Maybe you'll have twins! Or Triplets!"

"Slow down, Daddy Haywood. Let's find out if I'm pregnant before talking about more kids." I chuckle.

"Do you think we can have so many kids, I can start a football team?" Ryan smirks.

"Baby, I don't want any more than two. Three at most." I warn him.

"You're no fun." Ryan fake pouts. "How much time now?!"

"Relax!" I look down at the pregnancy test. My shoulders drop when I see the results. "It's negative."

"Oh," Ryan's face drops in disappointment. "Oh, well. Let's try again." Ryan leans in to kiss me.

I pull away. "Sweetie, we're in the bathroom!" I throw away the test and walk around him. Ashlynn is waiting by the bathroom door. "Yes, Ashlynn?"

"I was looking for Daddy...." She answers.

Ryan moves around me and picks her up. "Yes, Princess? Did you need something?" Ryan starts walking downstairs with her.

I sigh and walk out of the bathroom. As I'm passing Eric's room, I hear grumbling and swearing. 

“God damn it… why won’t you tie?!”

I knock on his room door. "Language, Mister." I warn him.

"Mom, can you come in for a second...?" Eric grumbles.

I smile. I love it when he calls me Mom. I walk in. Eric's clothes are scattered around the floor. "What the hell happened here?" I ask, looking around.

"Dance is this weekend..." Eric bites his lip.

"Did you ask the girl?" I smile.

"What girl?! There's no girl!" Eric answers defensively.

I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow. "Really?"

Eric sighs. "She said yes..." He mumbles. "I really want her to like me. I need some help and Lori isn't here yet."

I'm so glad Lori and Eric became friends. "When is she getting here?"

The doorbell rings. "That might be her! Mom, could you go get that? I'm still trying to figure out how the heck to tie a tie." Eric fiddles nervously with his tie.

I nod. By the time I get downstairs, Ryan already answered the door. Geoff and Lori walk in. 

It amazes me how big Lori and Eric are getting. Lori has grown into a cute little teenager. Her once blonde hair is now dark brown and her blue eyes sparkle like her mother's.

Lori takes off her shoes and jogs up the steps. "Hello, Mrs. Haywood!" Lori greets me as she sprints past.

"Hi, Lori!" I turn around and follow her to Eric's room.

"What happened in here?" Lori looks around Eric's room.

"That's exactly what I said." I chuckle. "Okay, Eric. You have two fashion consultants to help you. Bring out your best outfit." I say as Lori and I sit on Eric's bed.

"This is so embarrassing..." Eric grumbles as he picks up a few ties. "What color?"

"Well, what is your date wearing?" I ask.

"Date..." I hear Lori mumble.

"Do you I have to know that?!" Eric's eyes are wide.

Well, if he doesn't want to clash with what she's wearing, then yes. But since this is only a middle school dance, no one is going to be focusing on that. "Not really. You should wear whatever you feel comfortable in." I get off the bed. "Why don't I go get some snacks for you two. Lori, I'm counting on you to help him out."

"Got it." She nods.

I go into the kitchen. Geoff and Ryan are sitting at the table.

"So, she's not going?" Ryan asks.

"She doesn't want to," Geoff shrugs. "She said no one asked her, so there's no point."

"What are we talking about?" I ask, opening the refrigerator.

"Lori isn't going to that silly little dance." Geoff answers.

"Why not? Can't she just hang out with Eric and his date?"

"No. She wanted to be with Eric to hang out but after he got a date, she suddenly didn't want to go. Maybe she feels like a third wheel." Geoff shrugs. "I don't know. Lori won't talk to me about that. She only talks to Griffon."

"Huh. Weird." I shrug. I grab two sodas and a bag of chips for Eric and Lori and head back upstairs.

"So, who are you going with?" I hear Lori ask. I stop near the door.

"Melanie Duncan." Eric answers.

"Oh..." Lori responds.

Hm, she sounds upset. 

“So how are things with your mom?” Lori asks, changing the subject.

“Not good,” Eric scoffs. “She keeps trying to get me to meet this new guy she’s been seeing.”

“Wow, sounds serious.”

“It better not be serious! Why do I need to meet him? I don’t care!” Eric mumbles.

“Don’t you want your mom to be happy?”

“Of course I do! But why can’t she be happy with just me? We don’t need another person in the house.”

“Maybe she’s tired of being alone. You do come over here more often.” Lori reasons.

Eric pauses. “I suppose I never thought of that… I still don’t want to meet him.”

New boyfriend, huh? Hopefully Sara doesn’t cheat on this one. I knock on the door. "I’m back!" I hand them their sodas and chips.

Ashlynn runs past me. "I wanna dress up, too!" Ashlynn starts looking through Eric's clothes.

"Go away, Ashlynn." Eric rolls his eyes. "We're busy."

"Eric, be nice to your sister." I say in a warning tone. I scoop up Ashlynn. "Ashlynn, you can't come in here without Eric's permission. You know that."

"Can we play later, Eric?" Ashlynn pouts.

Eric sighs. "Sure."

“I’ll be downstairs if you kids need me.” I say, shutting the door behind me. “Let’s go to Daddy.” I say, holding Ashlynn.

“Yay! Daddy!” Ashlynn cheers as we walk down the steps. I set Ashlynn down and she speeds ahead of me into the kitchen. I swear, I think the only thing that girl thinks about is her father.

I walk into the kitchen to find Ashlynn tugging on Ryan’s arm. “Daddy, let’s go play!”

Ryan sighs. “Later, sweetheart. Daddy’s talking right now.”

“Everyone’s too busy for me.” She pouts and sulks into the living room.

“So, Sara is seeing a new guy,” I announce, joining Geoff and Ryan at the table.

“Hm? That’s good, right?” Geoff asks.

“It is, but Eric wants nothing to do with this guy.” I sigh. “There’s got to be a way to make him comfortable with this situation.”

“Riley,” Ryan says in a warning tone. “This is none of our business. Stay out of it.”

“Eric is our son, too. And if he’s not happy, then it is our business.” I cross my arms.

“She’s got a point.” Geoff shrugs. 

“Shut up, Geoff. It’s not your business, either.” Ryan laughs. “Okay, dear. What do you want to do about this?”

“Well,” I think for a moment. “I have no idea.” I sigh.

“I have an idea!” Geoff raises his hand. “Why don’t you all go out for a family dinner?”

Ryan shoots Geoff a death glare. “Right. That’s exactly what I want to do. Go out to dinner with my ex-wife and her new boyfriend. Why would I do that?!”

“Wait,” I place my hand on Ryan’s arm. “That’s a great idea! Eric will be more comfortable with us around and at the same time, we get to scope this guy out. You know, make sure he’s a good guy!”

“Why the hell do I care if he’s a good guy? Sara is a grown woman. She can date whoever she wants.” Ryan scoffs.

“True, but clearly she has bad taste is men.”

“Bad taste?” Ryan repeats. “She married me! Are you saying that was a bad decision?”

“No!” I argue. “Idiot, she left you for an abusive guy. That should tell you something. You were the best thing that ever happened to her. And now you’re mine.” I kiss his cheek. “Anyway, it matters because when Eric isn’t with us, he’s with Sara, right? So, if she marries this guy and he’s another asshole, Eric could be put in a bad situation again. And we don’t want that to happen again, do we?”

“No,” Ryan reluctantly agrees. “I guess you’re right.”

“As always.” I smirk. 

“I want to hear all about it!” Geoff rubs his hands together. “This is getting dramatic. Like some soap opera shit.”

“Shut up and drink your beer,” Ryan teases. “Okay, we can do the stupid family dinner thing. But you’re going to call and make plans.”

“Can do.” I nod.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This is so stupid,” Eric sulks in the back seat.

I called Sara after Geoff and Lori went home. She was surprised, but she agreed to the dinner. We dropped Ashlynn off at Olivia and Brendon’s house and here we are. Ryan and Eric keep mumbling shit under their breath.

“Can you at least look like you’re excited?” I whisper to Ryan. “You need to set an example for Eric.”

“I’m an adult. I can do what I want.” Ryan whines quietly.

“Oh, you’re an adult? Act like it!” I growl through a fake smile. “We are going to have a happy, fun family dinner and you are going to like it!”

“God damn it….” Ryan grumbles as we pull in front of Sara’s house. 

This used to be Ryan’s house. I remember the first time I spent the night here. It was the night I told Ryan about my past with Brendon…

“Okay, we’re here!” Ryan says with fake enthusiasm.

Eric mumbles under his breath, hopping out of the car. 

“This is going to be fun! Right, Ryan?” I smile.

“Yeah, sure…” Ryan grumbles as we approach the front door. 

We ring the doorbell. Sara answers almost immediately. “Okay, Russell will be here soon! Come in!” Sara says, frantically.

“Russell? Like the fat kid from  _Up_?” Ryan snickers as we enter the house.

I elbow him in the ribs. “Shut up!” I hiss. “Anything I can help with?” I’ve never seen Sara nervous. It’s very strange. She’s always been so sure of herself. I’ve always known her to be sneaky and manipulative. It’s weird to see her act like…. A normal person with feelings.

“Oh, you don’t mind? That would be awesome!” She pulls me into the kitchen. “Can you help me set the table?”

“Wow, you must really like this guy.” I raise my eyebrows. “Where did you meet him?” I ask, getting dishes out of the cupboards.

 “Oh, no where special. I bumped into him at the supermarket.” Sara blushes.

“Well, tell me about him!” I smile. This feels weird. Me and Sara having an actual conversation that doesn’t involve arguing. But as long as she leaves my Ryan alone, I’m happy for her!

“Okay, well, his name is Russell Bowen, he’s a doctor, he’s forty-three, he loves classical music, he’s constantly involved in community service and loves doing work for charity, and he’s just so perfect!” Sara squeals. Man, she sounds like me when I used to fan girl about Ryan (before I actually met him, of course).

“He sounds great!” I assure her. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

“I just wish Eric thought he was great,” Sara sighs. “Anytime I try to talk to him about Russell, he avoids the subject. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Well, Ryan and I are here to help. Things will go smoothly,” I promise her. “This is going to be fun!”

The doorbell rings and Sara nearly jumps out of her skin. “He’s here!” She straightens out her black dress before answering the front door. “Russell!”

A tall man (which I assume is Russell) walks through the door. He has short, black hair, tan skin, bright brown eyes, and groomed beard. This man was…. Hot. Very fucking hot.

“Hey, baby,” He plants a kiss on Sara’s cheek. “You look gorgeous.”

Ryan makes a gagging noise. I step on his foot.

“Hello, Dr. Bowen,” I reach my hand out. “I’m Riley. Sara was just telling me a bit about you, but she left out that you are very attractive-“

“A-HEM!” Ryan clears his throat.

“Oh,” I frown. “This is my husband, Ryan.” I say with lack of enthusiasm, just to mess with him.

“Soon to be ex-husband if you keep that up.” Ryan says through a fake smile.

“And this is Eric,” Sara says, waving Eric over. Eric reluctantly drags himself to Sara.

“Hey, pal!” Russell smiles. “It’s really nice to finally meet you. I’m Russell. You’re mother has told me so much about you-“

“That’s nice.” Eric responds in a flat tone.

“Eric!” Sara says in a warning tone.

“It’s okay, Sara,” Russell puts his arms around her. “Oh! I ran to the store and brought some brownies for dessert. I left them in the car. Let me go grab them.” Russell excuses himself from the house.

“Isn’t that nice, Eric? Brownies are your favorite, right?” Sara says.

“I guess.” Eric shrugs, walking into the kitchen. “Is dinner ready yet? I wanna get this over with.”

Ryan and I exchange glances. This is going to be a long night. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

“-So, after all that, the intern brings me a stack of papers. But they grabbed the wrong file for the patient! Now, keep in mind, this person was not the sharpest tool in the shed-“

“Speaking of tools….” Ryan mumbles.

I kick him in the leg. “Shut the fuck up.” I whisper, warning him.

A cell phone goes off. “Oh! I’m sorry,” Russell stops mid-story. He checks his phone. “That’s the hospital. I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back.” He excuses himself.

“No problem! Take your time!” Sara smiles.

“Can I be excused forever?” Eric asks, as Russell leaves the room.

“Eric, hush!” Sara and I say at the same time.

“Why are you forcing me to like this guy?! Why is this one any different?!” Eric shouts.

“Okay, he has a bit of a point. You can’t make him get along with someone.” Ryan argues.

“I’m not forcing you, sweetie! I just want you to meet him and try to get to know him!” Sara pleads.

“Okay! Fine, I met him! So far, he’s boring and hasn’t said an interesting thing all night!”

“Well, that story about the patient with the foot surgery was absolutely riveting.” Ryan says sarcastically.

“He’s nervous! He talks about what he knows best when he’s nervous.” Sara argues. “Just give him time!”

“I think he’s wonderful!” I assure her. “He seems very nice. And I need you boys to knock off the attitude, before I get angry! Understood?!” I scold them.

No response.

“I said, UNDERSTOOD?!” I repeat.

“Yes, Ma’am.” Ryan and Eric mumble.

Oh, God, when did I turn into my mother?!

Russell comes back into the kitchen. “Sorry, it wasn’t an emergency. My intern couldn’t find the nurse’s station… He was already there. That’s where the phone is and that’s where he called me from. I swear, that man shouldn’t be in the medical profession.” He laughs, sitting back down. 

“Eric, why don’t you tell Russell about that club you joined?” Ryan tries to add Eric into conversation. Good boy.

Eric shoots Ryan a glare. “It’s not a big deal…”

“Oh! Right! Eric just joined this Lego Robotics club! He’s very smart. He likes dealing with machines and such!” Sara smiles proudly. “Honey, that is a big deal! Not everyone can do that!”

“I guess…” Eric grumbles.

“That’s cool! I wish they had stuff like that when I was in school!” Russell says.

“Ryan was the one that got Eric into that stuff.” I add, earning me a glare from Ryan. I shoot him one back. Ryan smiles apologetically and continues to shovel food into his mouth. That’s what I thought. Don’t play that glaring game with me. You will lose.

“It’s cool, I guess. Video games are better…” Eric sighs.

“What do you play?” Russell asks. “RPG’s? First person shooters?”

Russell now has Eric’s full attention. “I like first person shooters, puzzle games, and scary games.”

“You ever play Resident Evil?” Russell leans forward. 

“I did, but they started getting ridiculous after the third game.” Eric admits.

“I used to play Resident Evil when I was younger. Cool series.” Russell nods.

“Oh, no. More video game talk.” Sara sighs.

“Look, they found common ground. Cheer up.” I whisper to her. Leave it to video games to make the night better! This is totally a win!

Another cell phone rings. “Oh, sorry,” Sara looks at her phone. “I don’t recognize that number.” She hits the ignore button. “If it’s important, they’ll leave a message. She sets her phone on silent and puts the phone away. “Anyone ready for dessert? We have the brownies Russell bought and we have apple pie.” Sara announces as she gets up from the table.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Russell asks, putting on his coat. 

“Of course.” Sara nods, walking him to the door.

“Maybe sometime next week, you, me, and Eric can go somewhere. Whatever you guys want. The mall, or an arcade. Doesn’t matter to me.” Russell looks over to Eric.

Eric shrugs. “I guess I wouldn’t mind.”

Russell sighs a breath of relief. “Great! We’ll talk about it more some other time. Goodnight, everyone.” 

“Bye!” I wave.

“Later.” Ryan forces a smile.

Russell leaves and Eric starts going upstairs. “I’m going to bed.” He mumbles.

“That wasn’t so bad! Eric doesn’t seem to mind him that much!” I say.

“I don’t know about this guy.” Ryan mutters. “He’s a doctor, he’s good looking and he’s with Sara? I think he’s gay!” Ryan smirks.

“Asshole….” Sara grumbles.

“Well, I’m happy for you! He seems very nice!” I shoot Ryan a warning glare. Hey, I said it once and I’ll say it again. As long as she’s not after Ryan, we’re cool.

“Oh, right, that call.” Sara reaches for her purse. “Oh, there is a voice mail.”

“Thanks for having us over!” I thank her as we start putting on our shoes.

As she listens to the voice mail, her face drops. Suddenly, she throws the phone across the room and starts shaking as she walks to the kitchen. “No…” She gasps. “No, no, no, no, no!”

“What’s wrong?!” I follow her. Ryan retrieves her phone.

Wobbling, Sara steadies herself, easing herself onto a chair.

I’ve seen this before. Fear. Why does this seem so familiar?

I look over to Ryan for help. He’s listening to something. I assume the voice mail. I watch his face change from normal to anger.

“What is going on?!” I shout, confused.

“Tom’s coming back.” Ryan growls, throwing the phone against the wall.

 


	5. Underlying Reasons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom is coming back into town. The situation feels all too familiar. She just wants to help in anyway she can. Meawhile, Ryan is starting to feel distant from his kids. Riley wants to cheer him up, but sometimes, words aren't enough.

Eric’s father is coming back to Austin. Sara’s abusive ex-husband. He didn’t explain what he wanted. The message simply stated that he was looking for a place to live back in town and he wanted to see Sara. Now it’s Friday, the day of Eric’s dance. We didn’t want to alarm Eric, so we’re going to tell him after he gets back.

Sara is sitting on the couch, waiting for Eric to finish getting ready. Munchie and Mr. Frumper (yup, they’re still around!) settle on the couch next to her. She pets them to calm her nerves. I never knew she was a cat person. I keep finding out that we have more in common than I thought.

“Sara, you didn’t have to cancel your date. I could’ve drove Eric to the dance.” Ryan says, leaning against the wall.

Sara shakes her head. “It’s fine. I really don’t know how to talk to Russell about this… I need to clear my head for tomorrow.”

Tomorrow is the dreaded day.

“How does he know your address?” I ask, joining them in the living room.

“It’s not hard to find that information out… But don’t worry about me. Thanks for agreeing to keep Eric over here for the time being. Maybe I can convince Tom to leave….”

We hear footsteps coming down the stairs and the conversation stops. Eric comes down in a suit and black tie.

“Awwww!” Sara and I swarm him with the camera. “Smile, Eric!”

“God, Moms….” Eric grumbles. “I’m nervous enough as it is…”

“Don’t be. It will be fun,” Ryan guides Eric out the door.

“Are we picking up your little friend, too?” Sara asks on the way out.

“No. Her dad is going to drop her off-” Eric explains as Ryan closes the door behind them.

I’m trying to be super excited for Eric, but I can’t stop thinking. What are we going to do? How is Eric going to handle this situation? Why does this asshole have to come back after six years?

“What’s on your mind?” Ryan asks, noticing the troubled look on my face.

“So, Eric is safe with us, but what about Sara?”

“She’s not really my problem anymore.” Ryan shrugs, walking into the kitchen.

“What?” I jump up from the couch and follow him. “How can you say that?”

“She’s got herself into this mess!” Ryan snaps. “She made the decision to cheat and be with someone who wasn’t who they claimed to be! That’s not my fault!”

“So, you’re going to let a defenseless woman try to handle her ex-abuser? God, you’re such an ass!” I growl.

“Why does that make me an ass?” Ryan narrows his eyes. “Why do you care? And what exactly do you want us to do about this?”

“Why can’t she stay here with us?” I suggest.

“Wow, a few years ago, you would have fucking ripped my head off for suggesting something like that.” Ryan rolls his eyes. 

“She will be safe here. He doesn’t know where we live and he won’t find her!”

“Yeah? And what if he does find us?” Ryan crosses his arms. “Then, he knows where we live. I think you’re forgetting about Ashlynn. I don’t want that creep anywhere near my daughter. I’m not risking the safety of my family for a stupid woman’s mistake.”

“So, we’re going to let her figure this out alone. Great idea, Ryan.” I growl, turning away to leave the room.

Ryan snatches my wrist, pulling me back. “Why are you taking this so personally?!”

The sudden grab from Ryan causes me to panic. I flick my wrist away from him and take a few steps back.

Ryan’s expression changes from confused to understanding. “Oh… Right…. You went through this…”

“I had people supporting me when Brendon came back. I had you and Olivia. Sara has no one. She’s pushing Russell away, and we’re the only other people to help her.” 

Ryan crosses his arms and thinks. “I suppose we can talk to her and see if she feels safer here… But Ashlynn-”

“Can stay at Olivia’s.” I finish the sentence for him. “I’ll talk to her about it.”

“And what happens if he happens to find us?”

“We will cross the bridge when we get to it,” I gulp. I don’t know what we’re going to do, honestly. 

Ryan steps forward and kisses my forehead. “I’m sorry if I scared you…. Sometimes I forget that harsh movements make you panic…”

“It’s okay… I know you would never hurt me. It’s just…” I shake my head. I don’t know why I get so scared. It’s just Ryan.

Ryan sighs and pulls me close to his chest. He strokes my hair. “Do you notice we fight more now that we’re married?” Ryan points out. 

“Baby, I would hardly call that a fight.”

“But still. We never fought this much before. And it’s only been a year of marriage.”

I tilt my head up to meet his eyes. “Does that worry you?” 

“Yes… and no.” Ryan shrugs. “Sometimes. I worry that maybe I’m too hard on you. I’m afraid of driving you away like…” Ryan stops. 

“Sara?” I finish his sentence.

He nods.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I assure him. “No matter what, I’m always going to be here.” I press my lips to his. Ryan hooks an arm around my waist, pressing my body to his. One hand rest on the back of my head, deepening the kiss. Ryan moves his hips forward, pressing his growing erection into me.

Well, we all know where this is going.

He pulls away, breathless. “Um… Shall we go upstairs for another attempt?”

Another attempt. Ryan just doesn’t know when to give up. I shake my head and untangle myself from his arms. “No, Ashlynn is still awake.” I lie. How could he think about having sex now? Is he not worried about tomorrow?

“I know Ashlynn is asleep already. She was really tired. You seem stressed,” Ryan raises an eyebrow. “I can help alleviate that.”

I feel heat rising in my cheeks. Ryan is persistent today.

“Come on,” Ryan pulls me close, tugging at the bottom of my shirt. “I think a bit of fun can help us out.”

I hate how easy it is for him to persuade me. I blame his voice. 

“Please, baby? Let me help you feel good.” Ryan whispers, smirking. He knows exactly what he's doing. And I hate that about him. He leans in, teeth grazing my ear. His breath running down my neck causes me to shiver. Ryan pushes me onto the wall, leaving kisses from my ear to my neck. His hands slide down the back of my thighs. I jump, wrapping my legs around his waist as he holds me up. “That’s what I thought.” He says before crashing his lips to mine.

He breaks the kiss and carries me out of the kitchen, into the living room, and up the stairs. I rest my head on his shoulder, gently nipping his neck and shoulder. 

“Fuck, I hate you,” Ryan moans as I bite down on the most sensitive part of his neck.

“No, you don’t.” I shake my head, continuing to work and bite on that spot.

“You’re right,” Ryan pants. Suddenly, I’m being thrown down onto the bed. I didn’t even realize we reached the room. Ryan takes off his shirt. He climbs on the bed, hovering over me. “I love you,” I slides my shirt off my body and removes my bra. I slide the rest of my clothes off my body. “I would do anything for you, you know that, right?” He whispers. 

I nod as I start to undo his belt. Ryan kicks off his jeans. “Anything, huh? Any possibility we can get this started?” I run my fingers up his arms, tracing his bicep. Ryan loves to start off slow. I’m already ready to go and he loves to torture me by taking his time.

Ryan smirks. “What’s this? Feeling impatient? I thought you didn’t want to.”

“Stop it,” I growl. “You know what I want.”

“No,” He sits up. “I don’t,” He crosses his arms and continues to smirk. “I want to hear you say it. I won’t be doing anything until you tell me how much you want it.” He gets off of me and sits on the edge of the bed.

“I’m not going to say it,” I return the smirk. This smug bastard. “Maybe that would’ve worked on me a few years ago,” I sit up. Ryan eyes my naked body with curiosity, not knowing what I’m going to do next. “I’ve been with you for six years, Ryan. You should know better. I’m not as shy as I used to be.” I slide off the bed, kneeling in front of him.

“What are you doing?” Ryan gulps. I look up at him. He’s blushing. He tries to keep his strong, dominate front but it’s failing. That’s not something you see every day.

“Don’t worry about it.” I shrug, sliding his boxers off, freeing his erection. I wrap my hand around the base of his dick. “You’re not going to do anything, so let me handle this.” Before Ryan can say anything, I lean forward, wrapping my lips around his dick. I start sucking. I begin to stroke whatever I couldn’t fit.

Ryan muffles a small moan. I glance up. Ryan is biting down on his hand to stop himself from making any noise.

I pull off of him. “Baby, just enjoy it.” I say in a seductive voice, continue to stroke him.

Ryan shakes his head. “That’s not fair,” He moans. “You’re supposed to be begging me to fuck you.” He grips the sheets tighter.

Seriously? Those are new. He better not rip them… Oh, fuck. Who cares about that right now? I suppose that’s not important.

“Well, it seems it’s the other way around now” I smirk before taking him back into my mouth. Ryan receiving a blow job from me is very rare, so I know how much he enjoys the few times he gets them. It won’t be long now. 

“Fuck,” Ryan moans. Yep, he gave up. His hands tangle into my hair, guiding me to go faster. I desperately want to fuck him now. But I have to be patient. It’s not often I get to see this needy side of him. “Please… More…” He begs. “Suck harder…”

I comply, my body shaking. I don’t know what it is, but something about Ryan begging is such a turn on. I try to resist but I reach my hand down, felling myself as I suck on Ryan. Why should he have all the fun?

Ryan bucks his hips to thrust into my mouth, sending him deeper in. I try not to gag as his dick starts getting closer to my throat with every thrust. A moan escapes my throat.

“Oh, fuck,” Ryan gasps after several minutes of this. “Fuck, stop. I’m getting way too close.” He whimpers.

I suck harder as I pull off of him. “Then why stop? I can just finish you off now.”

Ryan shakes his head. “No,” Ryan pulls me up, throwing me on the bed. “I need you now.” Before I know it, he’s sliding himself in. Moaning, he starts slamming deep inside. “I hate you, sometimes. You shouldn’t have this much of an affect on me.” Ryan bites his lip, trying to prevent himself from crying out. I’ve never seen him get this loud before.

About forty frustrating minutes tick by (feels like hours to me) before I wrap my legs around his waist, to feel more friction against my clit. Ryan kisses down to my breasts. His kisses turn to sucking, then to harsh biting on a nipple. “Ryan-” I whimper. I feel myself getting close. He knows how loud I can get.

“I know, baby. Hold on.” Ryan groans before crashing his lips to mine. He knows it’s the only way to keep me quiet. 

My nails dig into his back. I know Ryan must be getting close as well. His thrusts are getting deeper. Finally, my body shakes through my orgasm and Ryan comes not long after me, spilling into me. Ryan pulls out, pushing his sweat soaked hair back. “Don’t get me wrong,” He pants, trying to catch his breath. “Sex is always fucking amazing with you… But that…I have no idea where that came from.” He laughs weakly. He collapses on his back, trying to catch his breath.

I raise an eyebrow. “Really?” I roll on top of him. “Care for another round?” I whisper, nibbling on the most sensitive part of his ear.

I feel Ryan tense up under me. “You’re trying to kill me,” he mumbles. “Let me rest first. Then we can continue.” Ryan says before pressing his lips to mine.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Baby,” Ryan wakes me up by nibbling on my ear. I must have drifted off after our fun. “We gotta get up. I think Eric and Sara are back.”

“How long was I out?” I yawn.

“Not long. About a half an hour.”

“I’m so sleepy. And sore.” I whine, turning my back to him.

“That’s your fault. You were begging for more.” He chuckles, hugging me from behind. “But how do you feel?”

“Amazing.” I snuggle close to him, melting into his warmth. The doorbell rings and I whine. “Okay, let’s go.” I sigh, picking my robe off the floor, wrapping it around me. I get out of bed and start heading for the door. Ryan remains in bed. I turn to face him. His eyes are glued to my figure. “What?” I tilt my head.

Ryan’s lips curl into a lazy smile. “Well, it’s still relatively early….”

“Yeah, and?” 

“After Eric goes to bed, want to go again?” Ryan’s eyes study my body.

“What has gotten into you today?” I blush.

Ryan rises out of bed and walks over to me. “I’m just having one of those moments where I’m reminded how lucky I am to have you.”

“Oh?” I ask.

Ryan cups his hands around my face. He looks at me with soft eyes. “Yeah. We get so caught up in life that we forget about…. Us.”

“Well, that’s how it is,” I shrug. “You have work, and I have Ashlynn to watch. And pretty soon, I’ll be editing from home and we’re trying to have another baby. Not to mention Olivia always manages to “visit” at the perfect moment and we’re going to be seeing her more since she needs help with the wedding. We’re barely going to have time for each other. Not to mention all the drama that happens to center around us.”

“I don’t like that,” Ryan frowns. “I feel like there’s a better way to live. And it’s not just you. I feel like I haven’t spent much time with Ashlynn or Eric. I feel like I’m failing as a husband and a father.”

The doorbell rings again.

“Let’s talk about this later.” I sigh as we walk downstairs. We unlock the front door.

“Finally,” Eric walks in, untying his tie. “Goodnight.” He starts heading up the steps.

“How was it?” Ryan shouts up after him.

“Fine.” Eric responds.

Sara still stands in the doorway. “Sara, your welcome to come in.” I open the door wider.

She shakes her head. “Thanks, but if Tom is coming to find me tomorrow, then I should get some rest.”

Ryan jumps in. “We sorta wanted to talk to you about that. If Eric is here, why not stay here, too? We have a guest room.”

Sara shakes her head again. She looks to her feet. “I have to do this. I have to face him alone.”

“But you’re not alone!” I blurt out. “You have us and Eric and-“

“I can’t keep depending on everyone. This is something I have to do.” Sara states, firmly.

“I know what you’re feeling,” I sigh. “But allowing yourself to be in danger won’t do anything. What happens if he gets violent again?”

“We’ll find out,” Sara turns around and starts walking to her car. “Really. I appreciate the offer. But I have to do this.”

“But-” I begin to protest.

Ryan places a hand on my shoulder. “She won’t accept our help. The room is always open to her. She knows that. She’s stubborn, sometimes. Kinda like you.”

“I’ve been starting to notice that…” I mumble.

“Is it true?” A voice at the top of the stairs catch our attention. We whip our heads around to find Eric standing at the top of the stairs. “Did I hear that right? Tom’s here?”

“Eric-” Ryan tries to explain.

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” He narrows his eyes. “Is that why I’m being forced to stay here? Who’s going to protect Mom?!”

“Your mom can protect herself. We’re all just trying to look out for you.” Ryan explains.

“No! I need to watch after her!” Eric shouts. “You don’t know what it was like! You don’t understand! She needs someone to help her!” Eric tries to head out the door.

“You’re staying here.” Ryan says firmly, blocking Eric’s way.

“You can’t tell me what to do! I’m trying to protect Mom!”

“Yes, I can tell you what to do. You are staying here. There’s no way in hell we’re going to let you go into that situation.” Ryan crosses his arms.

“I hate you…” Eric mumbles, retreating back to the steps.

Ryan’s eye grow wide. “What was that?”

Eric pauses, turning back to face Ryan. “I said I hated you! You’re not even really my Dad!” Eric stomps up to his room.

“Eric! Come back here!” I shout. How dare this kid?! Ryan has been a good father to him! I start up the stairs after him. I feel a hand slip into mine, causing me to stop. I turn back to look at Ryan. He keeps his eyes glued to the floor. 

“Leave him be.” He says in a soft voice. “It’s fine…” He sounds defeated.

“Ryan…”

He shakes his head. “It’s alright. I’m not his Dad. He’s still my son, but I suppose I can’t do anything to change his feelings…” Ryan pauses. “Let’s just get some sleep, okay?”

I sigh as he leads me upstairs. On our way to our room, Ashlynn peeks her head out of her room, rubbing her eyes. “I heard shouting, and a door closed… What’s wrong…?” Ashlynn asks, her voice heavy from sleep.

“Nothing, Princess. Go back to bed.” Ryan kneels down to her level and kisses her forehead.

“Something must be wrong.” Ashlynn responds.

“What makes you say that?” Ryan tilts his head.

“You kissed my forehead. You’re paying attention to me. What’s wrong?”

Ryan freezes. Oh boy. That’s probably the worst thing she could have said to him right now.

“Well, if everything’s fine, goodnight.” Ashlynn yawns, retreating to her room.

Ryan remains crouched to the ground, frozen.

“… Ryan?” I run my fingers through his hair.

“I’m a horrible father…” Ryan mumbles.

“Ryan, no, you’re not.” I protest.

“My own daughter thought something was wrong because I paid attention to her….” Ryan pushes himself off the ground and heads back downstairs.

“Ryan?”

“I don’t deserve to sleep in the same bed as you…” Ryan mutters as disappears down the steps. “I’ll go sleep alone tonight.”

“Ryan, wait.” I try to call him back, quietly. I sigh when he doesn't come back. I head down the steps.

Ryan is already settling on the couch, curled underneath some blankets. Without saying a word, I force my way into his arms. “You have done amazing things for this family,” I kiss his nose. “Eric is a teenager. He didn’t mean what he said. He’s just upset. And Ashlynn is just a little girl. She didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I let both of my kids down…”

“You never let me down.” I rub my nose against his. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. This isn’t like you. Is something else going on?”

Ryan’s eyes dart away. “No.”

He’s lying. “Okay, I won’t ask.” I say in a soft voice. “Get some sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

I cuddle in his arms, run my fingers through his soft hair and plant a random kiss on his lips, cheek or nose. Ryan finally drifts off. 

I don’t know what else bothering him. What is it? And why can’t he talk to me about it? Did I do something wrong? 


	6. Earning VS. Losing Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom is back and wants to see Eric. Meanwhile, Riley is getting annoyed with Ryan's work habits.

“Anything yet?”

Ryan stares at his phone with a blank expression. He shakes his head. “Not a single text. Not a call… Nothing.”

I hate seeing him down like this. “Hey! Maybe we can take the kid’s to the park!” I suggest. He loves spending time with Ashlynn and Eric! “You can push Ashlynn on the swings and kick a soccer ball around with Eric!”

Ryan looks up at me and raises an eyebrow. “The park? In October?”

Oh… Right… “Well, maybe-”

“Maybe we can go check on her? I’m sure we would’ve heard something by now.” Ryan looks at me with hope.

I nod. “Yeah, let’s go check on her.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We made Eric keep an eye on Ashlynn. He made us promise that we would tell him how his mom is doing. We agreed.

We pull up in front of Sara’s house. There’s a black car in the driveway. And it’s not Sara’s.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” Ryan grips the steering wheel. “Tom used to be my buddy. He’s the reason Sara left me. I haven’t seen him in so long.”

I rest my hand over his. “I’ll be with you every step of the way,” I smile. “You won’t go through this alone.”

Ryan nods. He takes a deep breath before getting out of the car. I follow close behind him. Once we approach the front door, Ryan raises his hand to press the doorbell. He pauses. I give him a slight nudge to remind him that I’m with him and he’s not alone. Ryan rings the doorbell and we wait.

Sara answers the door. “Oh,” She looks surprised. “Uh, come in.” She steps aside.

Ryan rushes in and scans the room, ready for a fight. No sign of Tom. It’s just the three of us.

“He’s upstairs, freshening up.” Sara answers. She knows why we’re here. “I was just about to call you. He wants to see Eric-”

“Absolutely not.” Ryan answers quickly.

“I knew you would say that,” Sara nods. “That’s what I said at first. But then Tom told me that he quit drinking and he’s doing much better! I figured we can keep an eye on Tom and if we think he’s okay, we can-”

“Absolutely not!” Ryan repeats, raising his voice.

“Oh, stop it!” Sara raises her voice as loud as Ryan. “Tom is Eric’s father. He has every right to see him. Legally speaking…”

“No,” Ryan corrects her. “I’M Eric’s father. I don’t care if he’s not blood related. I have been more a father to him. I love him and I won’t let anyone hurt my son. I’m sorry that you’ve been blinded by his lies and pity stories.”

Oh, shit…. “Ryan,” I sigh. “We should consider this carefully…”

“WHAT?!” Ryan roars.

Damn, I knew he was going to yell at me… “Look, people can change. I’m not saying I’m okay with this guy, but he deserve a fair trial. We can watch him for a week or two and decide if he’s really changed or not. If we decided Tom is safe, we can let Eric decide if he wants to see him. If not, we get a restraining order. Simple.”

“I don’t like this.” Ryan shakes his head.

“Ryan, look at Riley and Brendon! They get along fine! Brendon was able to change! Why can’t Tom?” Sara argues.

“Because this is different,” Ryan glares. “I don’t want him anywhere near my family! As much as I hate to say this, but that includes you, Sara.” He smirks briefly. “I want him gone.”

“Ah, James,” A voice I don’t recognize causes me to jump. I look near the stairs. A man with light brown hair stands at the bottom of the steps. His tired blue eyes droop. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you.”

Ryan eyes the man down, not saying a word.

“Still mad?” The man offers a smile. He approaches us. “It’s all water under the bridge, right? And it seems you managed to find a pretty little thing,” the man turns to me. “Hey there, I’m Tom.” 

This is him. Now that I’ve seen him in person, I do see the similarities between Eric and Tom. While I’m at it, I see similarities between Tom and Ryan. Of course, Tom is nowhere near as sexy as Ryan, but (unfortunately) he’s not that far off.

Tom reaches his hand towards me for a handshake. 

Ryan smacks it away. “Don’t. Touch.” He warns, standing in front of me. I shiver at Ryan protecting me. Stop, Riley. Now’s not the time.

Tom shrugs. “What? I’m being nice,” Tom peeks past Ryan. “What’s your name, doll?”

“Last time you were “being nice”, you apparently took my wife. You’re staying away from this one.” Ryan growls.

Tom shakes his head. “I’m here to see my boy, James. I’m not here to steal your girlfriend. Don’t worry.”

“Wife.” Ryan corrects him. “Riley is my wife. Not like that matters to you. Marriage doesn’t keep you from taking women to yourself.”

“So, your name is Riley?” Tom ignores Ryan. Tom seems to be annoyed with Ryan’s pushing accusations. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“So, why do you suddenly want to see Eric?” I cross my arms. Everyone is forgetting that Eric is the focus of this subject. I attempt to get us back on track.

Tom’s eyes soften. “Well, I spent the last two years trying to clean up. I just want my boy back in my life.”

Ryan scoffs. I shoot him a warning glare. We need to let him talk.

“Anyway,” Tom clears his throat. “I kinda overheard some things. If you need me to prove myself, I can do that. I just want to opportunity to at least see him once. I want to see how much he’s grown.”

I nod. “And we will be keeping an eye on you. But I will say, it must take a lot of courage to come to a place where you aren’t favored.”

“Thanks,” Tom nods. “I really am trying. I just wish James can see that.”

“Stop calling me that.” Ryan growls.

“I agreed to letting Tom stay here at my house,” Sara cuts in. “But he understands the moment I feel unsafe, he’s out of here.”

“Good,” I nod. “Then it’s settled. Now, all we need to do is wait.”

“I don’t get a say in this?! I want him gone.” Ryan huffs. “This is a terrible idea! Eric is going to get hurt.”

“Can I at least try to prove myself?” Tom begs. “I’ll leave if you think there’s no change. But I need this change. Please, James.” Tom looks so pitiful. It’s hard to believe he could hurt anyone. 

Ryan crosses his arms. His eyes switch between me and Sara. “I don’t like this,” He finally says. “But whatever. Understand this,” Ryan warns, facing Tom. “The minute you step out of line, the second you are a threat to my family, you will disappear. And if you refuse, I won’t hesitate to hurt you. Are we clear?!”

Tom sighs. “Man, I’ve never seen you like this. You’re so emotional. When did that happen? But yeah, we are clear.”

“Good.” Ryan says in a gruff tone.

“Good.” Tom nods.

This should be interesting.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan wouldn’t talk to me on the drive home. Once we stepped into the house, Ryan turns to me. “What the fuck was that?” He growls. “Why did you gang up on me like that? What happened to having my back?”

“I do! But this isn’t about you,” I glare. “This is about Eric. Have you forgotten about that?”

“Yeah, I know it’s about Eric! So then why are we allowing this man an opportunity to see him? I want my family safe!”

“And they will be,” I say in a hushed tone, hoping to calm him down. “If we don’t think Tom has changed, we won’t let him see Eric, remember? That’s the deal.”

“I don’t trust him.” Ryan huffs, walking into the kitchen.

“I don’t blame you,” I follow him. “I don’t trust him, either. But you never know. Sometimes, people change and we have to give them a chance to prove themselves.”

Ryan sighs and sits at the table, resting his head in his hands. I walk behind him and start massaging his shoulders. “Don’t worry,” I smile. “Eric will be safe. He has us looking after him.”

Ryan jumps out his seat and charges towards the door. “I’m going to go to work and finish some stuff up.”

I knit my eyebrows. “On a Saturday?”

“Yeah. The office is still open. I’m just going swing by and do some stuff. If I’m distracted, this won’t bother me as much.” Ryan slips on his coat and heads out the door.

“But, Ryan-” I protest as he slams the front door closed. “You didn’t even say goodbye…” I mumble to no one.

“Mom?” Eric pokes his head in the kitchen. “Where did Dad go?”

“You called him Dad.” I smile weakly.

“I wanted to apologize to him…” Eric shuffles in. “I know lately it seems like I hate him or something, but I don’t. I don’t know why I keep doing that to him. I don’t mean to.”

“I know, honey,” I pull out a chair for him. “Have a seat. Let me see if we have any cookies or something.” I start searching the cabinets. I could use some kind of sugar now.

Eric sits at the table. “So he’s not here?”

I shake my head. “He went to work.”

“Again?” Eric mumbles.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “I suppose it’s hard being the only one working in the house. I haven’t gotten any work from Geoff yet.”

“Maybe I can get a job!”

I giggle. “You’re only fourteen. You’re not old enough yet.”

“But I can still do stuff. Like yard work or something. I used to do that in my old neighborhood.” Eric offers.

“That’s up to you, sweetie. But it’s not necessary. Your father and I will take care of you and Ashlynn, no matter what.” I locate some brownies (even better than cookies!) and place them on the table. I grab two glasses and pour us some milk.

“So…” Eric pauses. “Was he there?”

I know what he’s talking about. I nod. “We actually want to talk to you about it. I want to wait for your father, though.”

“Can we talk now, please? I hate waiting.” Eric begs. “I need to know what’s going on.”

I think for a moment. I would like to wait, but Eric has every right to know. “Tom wants to be in your life again. Of course, your father hates the idea. But we’re going to keep a close eye on him and see if he’s changed at all. Then, if we think Tom is okay, we will leave it up to you if you want to see him. Sound fair?”

Eric takes a bite of brownie, chewing slowly to avoid answering. “Yeah, I suppose….”

“This is all your decision. You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to.”

“I’m glad,” Eric sighs a breath of relief. “It’s nice to know I have a choice in this. So is Mom okay?”

 “Tom is staying with her, but she’s fine,” I add before Eric panics. “Sara will call your Dad if she’s in any danger.”

Eric nods. “Okay… I really wish Dad was here. I really want to talk to him.”

I grab my keys. “Why don’t we go to him? He should be at the office. Let’s swing by.”

Eric smiles and runs to grab his coat. 

“Go get Ashlynn!” I call after him. “She can’t stay here by herself.”

“Okay!” Eric shouts back.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

The receptionist desk was empty. I should just walk in. I sign myself in, and start to walk away.

A girl with sandy blonde hair rushes to the front desk. “Wait!” She pants, out of breath. “Did you sign-”

“Yeah, I did.” I cut her off. “But shouldn’t you be up here? Like, you’re the receptionist, right?”

“Yeah,” She sighs. “Sorry.”

She’s much younger than me. She has been working here for about a year now, but I still call her the new receptionist. I never got to learn here name. Nor do I care to.

“You’re here to see,” She pauses to look at the sign in sheet. “Ryan?” She frowns.

I nod. “Yes, I’m his wife. We wanted to see him.”

The girl’s eyes switch from me to the kids. She better stop analyzing me.

“Certainly. He’s in the Achievement Hunter office, last time I saw him.” She smiles. But it looks like a smirk to me. What’s with the look?

“Okay, thanks.” I eye her, suspiciously. I glance at the name plate on her desk. Rebecca Gates. What’s her deal?

On our way to the office, Eric leans over to me. “I don’t really like her. She seemed rude.” He whispers.

“I agree.” I nod.

We reach the office. I knock before opening the door. Ryan turns in his desk, surprised to see us. 

“Oh, uh, hey.” 

“Eric wanted to see you.” I nudge Eric forward.

“Uh, Dad,” Eric gulps. “I’m sorry for everything.”

“Oh, it’s okay, son.” Ryan pats his Eric’s head. “But this couldn’t wait until I got home?”

I narrow my eyes at him.

“Um… I guess it could have…” Eric mumbles.

“Well, except for the fact that you’re barely home.” I snap. How dare he? Eric finally apologizes and he dismisses it.

“Don’t start this again, Riley,” Ryan sighs. “I thought we talked about this.”

“Yeah, we did. But-”

Ryan interrupts. “Then let’s talk about this at home.”

I feel a low growl escape my throat. I really do hate this. But I suppose this work issue can be put on hold for another day.

“Daddy,” Ashlynn reaches out. “Can I stay here with you?”

“Honey, I have a lot of…” Ryan pauses when he looks at Ashlynn. Bingo. I know he can’t say no to her. “Uh… Sure, Princess. You and Eric can stay with me. But it’s not going to be fun. Daddy has work to do.”

“That’s okay!” Ashlynn runs and pulls a chair close to him. “I just want to be with you!”

I cross my arms. “Remember that conversation we had, Ryan?” I remind him. “You want to be a better father? Come home with us. Spend time with us. You don’t have to bury yourself with work to feel better.”

Ryan sighs. “I suppose this editing can wait until Monday…”

“Yay! Daddy, let’s go home!” Ashlynn cheers.

Ryan smiles and picks up Ashlynn. He ruffles Eric’s hair. “Yep, let’s go home.”

I study him for a brief moment. Seriously, what’s going on with him? I didn’t think the Tom thing was bothering him so much.

Ryan leads us out of the office. 

“Leaving already?” The receptionist, Rebecca, says as we leave.

“Yep,” Ryan doesn’t even look at her. “See you on Monday.” Ryan leaves the building, Eric following behind him. I stay behind. 

“You’re here a lot, aren’t you?” I ask, approaching her desk. “More than most of the employees around the office?”

She nods. “Yeah, why?”

“Do you think he works too much? I’m afraid he’s working himself to death.”

She smiles and nods. “He does work hard, but don’t worry. I’ll make sure he doesn’t work too hard.” Again, her smile looks like a smirk. Maybe that’s just her face.

Hmm… “Okay, thanks.” I walk away, to catch up with Ryan.

“What was that about?” Ryan stands by his car, Ashlynn and Eric already waiting inside.

“Nothing,” I shrug. “Just saying hi to the receptionist.”

“Okay.” Ryan hops in his car.

Hmm… Why do I have a bad feeling about her? I’ll push that back for a later day… Right now, Eric and Tom is my main concern right now.


	7. The Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley has some news for Ryan. And Ryan happens to stumble across some of Riley's old journals.

I walk through the front door, smiling. Ryan is resting on the couch, Ashlynn snuggled next to him, sleeping. Things are starting to go back to normal. He’s spending more time with Ashlynn and Eric, he’s not staying at the office as late, and we finally have time for each other at the end of the day. I really hope things stay this way. And, I have some news that might make Ryan extremely happy.

“Ryan,” I whisper, trying not to wake Ashlynn. “Come upstairs. I have a surprise.”

Ryan slips away from Ashlynn, sliding a blanket over her. Ryan follows me to our room. “What’s up?”

I grin, handing him the results. “Read this.”

Ryan’s face drops. “What’s this? Doctor’s notes? What’s wrong? Are you sick?” He skims the pages. He breaks out in a grin. “We’re pregnant?!”

I nod, trying to hold back tears.

“Is this real?” I nod again. Ryan drops the folder to the ground, wrapping his arms around me. “God, I’m so happy to hear that!” He kisses my forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to the doctor?!”

“I wanted to surprise you!” I shrug. “I know things have been kinda rough for you and I knew this would make you feel better.”

“How far along are you?” Ryan asks in between kisses. Yep, he’s happy again. I couldn’t be more relieved. 

“Five weeks. Remember that day we kept going at it? I’m pretty sure that did it.” I blush.

“Oh, man, I can’t even believe this!” Ryan can’t stop smiling. “Let’s go tell the kids. Then let’s call your mother, then Olivia, and then-”

“Slow down,” I laugh. “Let’s enjoy this moment before you go calling the news stations.”

“God, this is exactly what I needed.” Ryan sighs a breath of relief.

“Really? You think we’re ready for another kid?” I cross my arms.

“Of course,” Ryan answers. “You don’t think we are?”

“Well,” I pause. “I’m happy, it’s just I don’t want you to stress out about the baby. You realize this means you’re going to have to relax. And that means no more late nights at the office.”

“But, the money-”

“We will figure things out,” I promise him. “But I think you’re using work as an escape. You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right? You don’t have to work so hard.” I also don’t want him near the receptionist. I trust him, but I don’t like the looks of that girl. She seems shifty to me.

Ryan pauses before answering. “Okay, maybe I do spend too much time working. Fine. But if you noticed, I’m trying to change things around here.”

“I noticed, baby. Don’t worry,” I smile. “You can go back to celebrating. We need to start figuring out appointments, baby names,” I begin to list.

“Can we call people now?” Ryan begs. “I want to brag to everyone.”

I laugh. “Of course, let’s go tell people.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m going to be a big sis!” Ashlynn jumps around the house.

“Aw, man,” Eric jokes. “I don’t want another sibling. I’m bad enough with Ashlynn.”

“Shush, you.” I playfully nudge Eric. “You’re such a good brother to Ashlynn.”

Ryan lifts Ashlynn in the air. “I’m so glad! I know you and Eric are going to set a good example for your new brother or sister!” Ryan snuggles Ashlynn. 

I’m so glad to see Ryan happy again. He hasn’t been this happy in a while. After Tom came into town, he’s been so stressed. More than usual, that is.

The front door springs open. Olivia charges in, keys in hand. “We need to go out to dinner to celebrate!” Olivia jumps into my arms for a hug. “Brendon’s treat!” Olivia cheers.

“Yeah!” Brendon stumbles in after her. “… Hey! Wait!”

“Wait,” Ryan hasn’t been able to stop smiling. “I think we should let Riley decide how to celebrate.”

“Well, I think dinner is appropriate since I’m eating for two.” I tease. I know that’s just an excuse for pregnant people to eat more. I take advantage of that as often as I can. “But, why don’t we keep it cheap for poor Brendon. Why don’t we order a couple of pizzas and stay in?”

“I’m okay with that.” Brendon sighs a breath of relief, and starts dialing a pizza place.

“So, five weeks, huh?” Olivia crosses her arms. “That’s amazing! Riley, I’m so happy for you! But…” Olivia lowers her voice. “What about that Tom guy? How has that been going? I’m worried.”

“Nothing to worry about,” I shake my head. “Sara has been watching him. He hasn’t been drinking and he’s trying to find a job around town. We think he’s almost ready to see Eric.”

Olivia sighs. “Good. Maybe he has changed.”

“I think so, but Ryan still doesn’t trust him. We decided that once Tom has a job and a place of his own, we will give Eric the choice to meet him.” I add.

“Well, let’s hope Tom keeps improving,” Olivia nods. “Anything else we should worry about?”

I think for a moment. “Not really. Life is good right now. Ryan is spending more time with us, the Tom situation is under control, and I’m pregnant. Nothing is wrong as far as I’m concerned.”

“And I hope it stays that way. I want my friends to be happy.” Olivia smiles. “I must say, I’m surprised. I really expected Tom to cause some kind of commotion.”

“Same here! But I guess we were wrong.” I shrug.

“Okay,” Brendon says once he’s off the phone. “Pizza will be here soon.”

“What do you think the baby is? A boy or a girl?” Ryan asks, rubbing my stomach. God, I remember when I was pregnant with Ashlynn. He used to do this all the time. I love it.

“Hmm… I don’t know. What do you think?”

“I really want another girl.” Ryan smiles at the thought.

“Why? You want to spoil this one, too?” I shake my head.

“Hey!” Ashlynn chimes in. “I’m not spoiled!”

We laugh. I pick up Ashlynn and hug her. “Okay, you’re not. But that’s because I teach you not to be.”

“I don’t spoil Ashlynn.” Ryan crosses his arms.

“Yeah, you do.” Eric mumbles under his breath, smirking. 

“You stay out of this.” Ryan chuckles.

“I still can’t believe I’m getting another niece or nephew!” Olivia chirps. “We should go shopping! I wanna buy a bunch of cute little baby clothes!”

“Why don’t we wait until we find out the gender?” I smirk. “We can’t buy clothes now.”

“But I wanna!” Olivia pouts.

I know where she’s coming from. I want to go buy stuff for the little one. I want time to speed up so I can hold my baby in my arms.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brendon and Olivia goes home and Ashlynn and Eric are asleep in bed. “Today wasn’t a bad day.” Ryan sighs. I cuddle under his arms. “It was nice and relaxing. You know what? I have so much energy, I want to go sort through the stuff in the basement.” Ryan gets up from the couch.

Uh… Wait….. “We can do that tomorrow!” I jump up, trying not to panic.

“Why? I want to break out Ashlynn’s old crib. Man, I can’t wait to put that back together.” Ryan opens the basement door. 

I charge in front of him, blocking the door. “But we have plenty of time to do that! Why not wait? You don’t want to set up the room too early!” I force a laugh. Oh God! Please don’t go in the basement!

Ryan cocks an eyebrow at me. “What’s gotten into you?” He lifts me and sets me aside.

“Stop!” I pull his arm and pin him against the wall. I smash my lips to his. “I’m REALLY turned on! Let’s go have sex!” I yank his arm, trying to pull him upstairs. How can I be so stupid?! Why did I put off hiding it?!

Ryan pulls his arm away. “Why are you trying to prevent me from going into the basement?” Ryan chuckles. He heads down. I gulp.

“Ryan!” I squeak. I run down the steps behind him.

“You’re so weird. Although, I will take you up on that sex offer later tonight.” He smirks.

I look by his feet.

The box. It’s. Right. There.

Ryan walks past the box. I sigh a breath of relief. He didn’t notice it. Good.

I feel so dumb. Why didn’t I put it away? Or throw it out? Why did Mom have to send it down to me?

Ryan shuffles through old baby furniture. “Found it!” Ryan smiles. He picks up the crib box and starts walking with it.

He didn’t notice. That was close.

Ryan’s foot bumps into the box I wanted him to avoid. “Hm?” He looks down at his feet. “What’s this?”

I smack my forehead. God damn it…

Ryan sets down the crib and bends down to pick up the box “Don’t touch! This belongs to Riley.” Ryan reads the front of the box.

I reach down and snatch it before he could grab it. “This is nothing!”

“Where did it come from? I’ve never seen it around her before.” Ryan tries to reach around me. 

I move out of his way. “Oh, just some old junk Mom sent over. Mom is moving out of the house and she sent over some stuff from my childhood. It’s pretty boring!”

“Then let me see.” Ryan reaches for the box again.

I try to run upstairs with it. “Nah! Nothing to see here!” I say in a frantic tone.

Ryan chuckles, grabbing my waist before I could get away. “If there’s nothing to see, why are you running away?” Ryan forces the box out of my hands.

I gulp as Ryan sits on the floor, opening the box. “Ryan, please!” I beg.

“Hmm? Awww, these are cute!” Ryan pulls out Mr. Bear, my old Teddy Bear. “Let’s put him through the wash and show him to Ashlynn!”

Huh? I peek into the box. There are only toys. Where are my notebooks? Maybe I’m safe!

Ryan shuffles through the box. “This is kinda cute! I’m looking at your childhood!” Ryan smiles, looking through my old toys. Ryan pauses. “Huh? What’s this at the bottom?”

Oh no.

“A notebook?” Ryan pulls out my journal.

OH NO!

“Oh, that’s just an old school notebook.” I shrug. I sound calm, but I begin to sweat. Please don’t open it.

Ryan flips open the front page. He silently reads. He bites his lip, trying to hide a smile.

Fuck my life.

“Don’t read it!” I try to snatch the book out of his hands.

Smirking, he moves out of the way.

“What is this?” He giggles like a little girl and begins to read. “ _I walk out to the kitchen for some water. Working at Rooster Teeth as a model is hard._ ” He laughs. “Is this what I think it is?” He continues to read.  _“I reach into the fridge. I feel someone standing behind me. I turn to find RYAN STANDING THERE?!_  IS THIS RYAN PORN?!” Ryan roars, throwing his head back in laughter.

“It’s…. it’s called smut… Give… give it back…” I beg weakly. I feel my cheeks burn red. 

“No! Wait!” Ryan laughs, flipping ahead.  _“Before I realize it, Ryan pushes me onto the table. “Ryan,” I beg. “Someone can catch us.”_ ” Ryan pauses to snicker. “ _“I don’t care,” He says in a deep husky voice. “I’ve wanted you for a long time, Riley. And I’m not waiting anymore._ ” OH MY GOD!” Ryan continues to laugh, tears peeking from his eyes.

“Stop… Stop it!” I whine. I blink back tears. This is so embarrassing! Stop teasing me!

“Ah ha haha! I can’t believe this. This is great! Almost seven years we’ve known each other and you never mentioned this! This is beautiful!” Ryan wipes away his tears. Ryan stops laughing and frowns when he sees my face. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Ryan reaches out to wipe the tears off my cheeks.

I swipe his hand away. “You’re an asshole! Okay, yes! I was a fucking fangirl! Happy now?!” I sniffle. Stop crying, Riley.

“Happy? Yeah,” He nods. “I’m glad you weren’t writing about anyone else.” Ryan lifts me and places me into his lap. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t think you wrote "me" smut.”

“"Me" smut?” I can’t help but laugh as I repeat him. “I used to write one shots about meeting you, working with you, and I had one story about… being married to you…” I blush. “These stories took up about five notebooks. I’m not a writer like Brendon, but this kept me busy during college. No one was supposed to read these.”

“…. Can I read them?” Ryan asks. “It’s okay if I can’t. I’m really just curious to see what you wrote.”

“Well, you already know they exist, so I don’t care,” I blush. “Just don’t be mean. Keep in mind, I’m not a professional and this was just keeping a lonely girl entertained.”

“Lonely, huh?” Ryan smirks. “What about Brendon? Were you with him?”

“Uh… Yeah…. But we only did things when he wanted to.”

“I have a question,” Ryan grins. “Did you ever think about me when you were sleeping with Brendon?”

“Ryan-” I growl.

“Wait! Did you ever masturbate to me?!”

“Jesus, Ryan!” I mumble.

“Did you?” Ryan bites his lip. “I have to know!”

“Yeah… Both.” I grumble.

“That’s so interesting,” Ryan tilts my head up to meet his gaze. “Before I met you, you were thinking about me. My future wife was fantasizing about me and I didn’t even realize it. That’s kinda hot.”

“Can we drop this?” I grumble. “I’ve had enough embarrassment tonight.”

Ryan lifts me and places me on my back. “Sure, we can forget about this,” He says, settling on top of me. “But I don’t know why you’re so embarrasses. I think it’s cute.” Ryan tugs at my shirt. “How about this, I’ll fuck you so hard, you’ll forget I even found this.”

“This is weird…” I mumble, remembering one of my stories.

“Huh? What is?” Ryan asks as he moves my shirt to the side, planting kisses on my shoulder.

“There’s a one shot on this. Fucking in a basement.”

Ryan sits up, eyes sparkling. “You’re lying,” He beams. “Let me see!” He gets off of me, searching the box. “Which book? I wanna recreate it!”

“Ryan!” I blush.

“What?! It will be fun!” He smiles. “I want to do this for you. It’s something you obviously want.”

“Then...” I blush, flipping to page 83. I give up. If he wants to role play, then I at least want to do my favorite. “Can we do this one?”

Ryan takes the book and scans the page. His lips curl into a mischievous smile. “ _It’s nice to see you. I was hoping you would walk in today_ ,” Ryan breaks character. “Can I get some background on this?”

I giggle. “You own a bookstore. I stumble across it one day and I notice how handsome the owner is. I come visit every day, but I don’t say anything to you. I pretend to be browsing books. You finally approach me.”

“What’s my motivation?” He smirks, helping me off the ground. 

“Actors,” I shake my head. “I’m your motivation. You want me.”

“I know that. But that’s not acting.” He nips my ear.

“Stick to the script.” I hold the book to his face. “ _I like coming here. The books really catch my eye._ ”

Ryan bites his lip seeing his next line. He looks at me with lust in his eyes. “ _Perhaps, there’s something else that caught your eye?_ ”

I gulp. Yep, this is going exactly that way I hoped. 

“ _I don’t mean to be forward,_ ” Ryan steps close to me. “ _But I’ve been keeping an eye on you. I know you’ve been watching me. Maybe today’s the day you get what you desire_.”

“ _I don’t know what you mean_.”

Ryan snakes an arm around my waist. He breaks eye contact to read the next part. “Fuck. I forgot what I was supposed to say. Sorry. Ahem,” He clears his throat, before jumping back in.  _“I think you do._ ” Ryan drops the notebook, running his hand slowly down my chest. “ _You haven’t pulled away from me yet. Is this something you want?_ ” 

I nod, eagerly.

“Wait, pause.” Ryan whispers, picking up the notebook. “Sorry, let’s go in the office. There are books in there.” Ryan takes my hand, leading me upstairs to the office.

“It doesn’t matter.” I giggle.

“Yes, it does. If we’re going to do this, we gotta do it right.” Ryan insists. Once we reach the office, he closes the door behind us and presses me against the wall. “Anyway,” Ryan clears his throat. “ _If this is what you wanted,_ ” He leans in, his mouth close to my ear. “ _You should’ve just said so in the first place. I would have helped you out right away._ ” Ryan’s voice changes from seductive to normal. “Oh, pretend I closed the shop. I don’t really have an open/ closed sign. Oh! And at this point, I dragged you into my personal office. Oh look! It fits. We’re in an office now!” Ryan smirks.

“Ryan!” I giggle. “I know! On with it!”

“I’m trying to be authentic,” He chuckles. He switches to bookstore Ryan, he slides his hand up my shirt. “ _Off. Now_.”

I obey, slipping my shirt over my head. 

“ _Everything_.”

I nod. Take off my clothes. Ryan watches, his eyes scanning my body. 

“ _Fuck, I wish I could’ve seen you sooner_ ,” Ryan runs his fingers up my thigh. “ _Now, what to do with this sexy body of yours…_ ” Ryan looks down at the book. “No, seriously, what now? I forgot.”

I laugh, and start unbuckling his belt. “Well, first of all, you are supposed to be naked with me.”

“Hey! I’m doing the best I can,” Ryan grins. “I’m doing most of the work here. You can’t blame me for forgetting some things.”

Once he’s undressed, I admire the sight before me.

“Now, what?” Ryan’s voice is low and husky. His breathing is ragged.

“Now,” I hop on his waist and he holds me up. “You take me to your desk and fuck me there.” I lick my lips.

Ryan’s face drops. “Aww, but I just organized that!”

“Ryan.” I narrow my eyes at him.

“Okay, okay! Wait! I’m kidding!” Ryan chuckles, taking me to the desk. “ _Being inside you is more important right now._ ” Ryan breaths, managing to pick back up in the book. He knocks everything off the desk and lays me down. He leans over me, kissing me roughly. I feel him rubbing his rough palm in between my legs, causing me to gasp. “ _Don’t be afraid to scream._  But actually, don’t do that. Eric is right next door.”

“Ryan.” I warn him again. He keeps slipping in and out of character.

“Okay, sorry!” Ryan separates my legs and slides in, causing me to whimper. “ _I’ve never met anyone so beautiful,_ ” Ryan whispers, thrusting in and out. The book is tossed aside and Ryan isn’t paying attention to his part anymore. “God, I love you.”

I kiss him to keep me from being too loud. I moan into his mouth. The longer we go on, the closer I feel my orgasm approaching. I wrap my legs around his waist, causing his thrusts to become shorter and deeper. 

“Fuck, I think this is one of the hottest things we’ve ever done.” Ryan grips onto my hips, lifting me to bring me somehow closer than I already am. Hitting just the right angle, I begin to come, clenching around him. Ryan’s thrusts become less rhythmic and he spills into me.

“Can… Can we just read a new scenario every night?” Ryan pants, trying to catch his breath. “You’re writing is terrible, but I think some of your idea were pretty good.”

“Hush,” I smile. “Hand me my clothes and carry me to bed. I’m exhausted.”

We head to our room to get some sleep. Today was a bit of a busy day. I hope things go smoothly from here on out.


	8. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric makes a decision on whether he wants to be reunited with Tom or not.

I hold onto Ryan’s hand. He needs some kind of reassurance right now…. We’re at Sara’s house, talking about Tom.  
“I swear!” Sara promises. “He’s been really good! After Tom got a job, he’s got an apartment and everything!”  
“Hmm…” Ryan rubs his chin. “I don’t know about this…”  
“I don’t like it either,” Sara admits. “But if Tom isn’t doing anything wrong, we can’t stop him from seeing Eric. This is his decision, not ours.”  
I nod. “Sara’s right. We need to talk to Eric about this.”  
Ryan sighs heavily. “I just don’t know about this. It’s only been two months. There’s no way I can trust that he changed that quickly.”  
“Ryan, it’s not up to us anymore. We can’t do anything legally until Tom screws up. We have to let Eric decide this.” I reason.  
“I know…. I’m just worried…” Ryan pushes his hair back.  
“I know. But it will only be once a month or something. We won’t let him get too much time with Eric. He will be safe with us.” Sara assures him.  
Ryan glances down at his feet. “Okay….”  
Tom sits in the kitchen, waiting from an answer. We get up and walk in the kitchen.  
“Okay, Tom,” Sara gulps. “We all think you have made tremendous progress. Now, we are going to talk to Eric. If he wants to see you, then you can see him. But if Eric doesn’t want to see you, you’re going to stay away from him. Is that clear?”  
Tom nods. “I understand.”  
I study Tom. He looks very tired and sad. The years have not been good to him. You can tell he’s struggled his whole life. I wonder what led him to be the person he was about fifteen years ago.  
“Well, we’re going home,” Ryan avoids eye contact with Tom. “We’re going to go ask Eric what he wants to do.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
We walk into the house. “Eric, can you come downstairs please?!” I call up the steps.  
Ryan and I walk into the kitchen. “Okay, Haywood.” Ryan mumbles to himself. “You can do this.”  
“Everything is going to be okay.” I assure him.  
Eric shuffles into the kitchen, 3DS in hand. “What’s up?” He asks, not looking up.  
“Have a seat.” Ryan clears his throat.  
Eric looks up. “Am I in trouble?” He asks, taking a seat at the table.  
“No” I shake my head. “This is about your dad.”  
“Dad, are YOU in trouble?” Eric seems to panic more.  
Ryan smiles a bit, probably happy that when I said “dad”, Eric thought of Ryan. “No, son. This is about Tom. As you know, he’s been in town for quite some time and he wants to know if you want to visit with him. We were making sure he was okay before you had the opportunity to see him. He’s fine. It’s totally up to-”  
“Nope, keep him away from me.” Eric answers flatly, going back to his game.  
Ryan and I exchange glances. “Really?” Ryan raises his eyebrows.  
“Yeah. Why would I want to see him? You guys were keeping an eye on him? For what? I don’t want to see that creep. He’s nobody to me.” Eric answers, blankly.  
“But… he turned his life around for you.” I explain.  
“Good for him. Maybe he can move on. But he’s staying away from me. I can’t forgive him for what he did to Mom.” Eric shrugs.  
Ryan and I look at each other. “…. Okay! I guess that settles it!” Ryan sighs a breath of relief. “I gotta tell you, I’m very happy to hear you say that, Eric.”  
“If your happy, I’m happy, Dad.” Eric nods. “Can I go now? No offense, but I thought this was important. I thought someone got hurt or something.”  
Ryan chuckles. “Yeah, you can go.”  
Eric gets up and leaves the kitchen.  
Ryan turns to me. “That went better than I expected!” he smiles.  
“I have to say, I’m also relieved.” I sigh. “It’s over! The Tom situation is done! Eric doesn’t want to see him! We don’t have to worry about it anymore!”  
“So, everything is fine, right?” Ryan grins. “We have no problems at this point! We can just relax.” Ryan hums. “I’ll call Sara and she can tell Tom to get lost.”  
I’m glad that Ryan is happy. Life is perfect right now. No problems, our baby is healthy, family life is good. What can go wrong?  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“Mommy!” Ashlynn calls from upstairs. “Why is Daddy still here?!”  
I smile, looking up the steps. Ryan is walking downstairs, little Ashlynn attached to his leg.  
“Daddy should be working!” Ashlynn cheers.  
“I told you!” Ryan laughs. “Daddy took the day off.”  
“Did she wake you up?” I chuckle.  
“Yeah, but that’s okay.” Ryan smiles, picking up Ashlynn. “Daddy needs to spend time with his little Princess.” He kisses her forehead. “And his queen, of course.” Ryan smiles at me.  
“We spend enough time together,” I smirk. “I’m sick of you. Go away.” I tease.  
“Oh, that hurts,” Ryan places his hand over his heart, smirking. “How can I go on?”  
“You’ll figure it out.” I wave him off.  
“Daddy! I’m not sick of you! I love you!” Ashlynn wraps her arms around his neck.  
“Aww, that’s sweet! I think I’ll survive now!” Ryan laughs.  
“But, really, why are you here?” Ashlynn asks.  
“I decided to take a day off,” Ryan explains. “I just wanted to spend time with my family. To remind myself how lucky I am to have all of you.”  
“I’m the lucky one,” I whisper under my breath. This isn’t where I thought I would be ten years ago. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d be alive at this point. I’m glad I stuck around.  
“Why don’t you spend some time with Ashlynn? I need to stop by the office. I need to talk to Geoff about finally working.” I suggest.  
“Figures, I take the day off and you go to work.” Ryan smirks.  
“I’ll be quick,” I giggle. “It won’t take long.”  
“Daddy, let’s play Old Maid until Mommy comes back.” Ashlynn begs.  
“Honey, Old Maid isn’t fun with only two people. We need at least three.” Ryan tries to explain.  
Ashlynn jumps out of his arms and rushes to the card. “No! It can be fun! Watch!” She deals the cards. “Now, we can start the game!” Ashlynn frowns once she sees her hand. “Oh, no! I got the Old Maid! Here you go, Daddy.” Ashlynn hands him the Old Maid card and steals one of his.  
Ryan looks baffled. “But… I… How…”  
I giggle. “I’ll be back.” I exit the house before I die of cuteness.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“-Just edit these for now. Next week, I’ll give you a game to review. But for now, let’s just see how the editing goes.” Geoff explains, leading me out of the building.  
“Sounds good,” I nod. “I still have my editing equipment from my streaming days, so this shouldn’t be too hard. Thanks, Geoff.”  
We are standing near the front doors. Rebecca sits at the front desk. “And, uh...” Geoff pauses, lowering his voice. “How is Ryan doing?”  
Rebecca peeks over the desk, trying to be discrete. Don’t worry, honeybuns, I see you. I don’t know what your deal is with my husband, but I do notice you.  
“Good. He’s doing much better now that Tom is out of our lives again.” I smile. “He’ll be doing better once the baby gets here.” I make sure to mention the baby. Maybe that will make her back off a bit.  
“Yeah, I can’t wait to see the little cutie! That, and the fact that Ryan loses sleep and gets super crazy for videos when he’s tired. Views are going to shoot up!”  
“Yeah, well, I’ll let you get back to work. Bye, Geoff! See you later!”  
“Bye…Oh wait! Is Lori going to be at your house, or is Eric coming over? I forget.”  
“Lori’s coming to our house. You can swing by after work to get her.” I remind him.  
Geoff gives me a thumbs up as he walks away.  
“So,” A voice causes me to stop walking out the door. I turn to face Rebecca. “Is Ryan sick?”  
“He’s fine. He took the day off to spend time with our beautiful daughter.” I fake smile.  
“Oh, I thought something happened. He was supposed to finish up that project he was working on.”  
Now she has my attention. “He’s almost done? Finally?”  
Rebecca nods. “Last I heard, anyway. Ryan usually keeps me updated with that type of business.”  
That better be the only thing he’s talking about with her. “Ah, I see,” I nod. “Anyway, Ryan is fine.”  
“Tell him I said hello.” Rebecca returns to her work. She seems harmless, I suppose…  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“I win again, Daddy!” Ashlynn shouts as I walk through the front door. “You’re not very good at this!”  
“I suppose not,” Ryan sighs, dropping his cards. “How am I supposed to win with the “Daddy HAS to have the Old Maid card at all times” rule?”  
“You win by being my favorite!” Ashlynn cheers. “So, you get a kiss!” Ashlynn kisses Ryan on his cheek.  
“I feel like a winner already.” Ryan smiles.  
“Except you lost.” Ashlynn reminds him.  
“Hush, you.” Ryan laughs. “Hey, how did it go?” Ryan turns his attention to me.  
“Fine,” I shrug. “Ashlynn, why don’t you go upstairs and play with your toys.”  
Ashlynn nods. “Okay. And don’t worry, Daddy,” She hands Ryan all the Old Maid cards. “Keep practicing. You’ll get better.”  
Ryan bites his lip to prevent himself from laughing as Ashlynn runs upstairs.  
“So, Geoff gave me about six videos to edit. That should keep me pretty busy,” I clear my throat. “Oh, and that Rebecca girl said hi.”  
“Oh? Did she?” Ryan shrugs. “Yeah, she’s always looking for reasons to talk to me. She’s a nice girl, but I think she has a bit of a crush on me.” Ryan smirks.  
Oh, good. That’s it. Just a silly little girl with a crush. I’m a bit more relieved. Not like I thought Ryan would do anything. I trust him. “Ah, I see. Who can blame her?” I walk over to him. I settle on his lap. “I used to be in her position. Admiring from afar. But I won.”  
“Yeah, you stole my heart. All it took was one look and you had me.” Ryan wraps his arms around me. “I’m the luckiest man on earth. Sometimes I need to step back and remind myself of that.” He sighs.  
He’s been saying that a lot lately. Should I be worried? Maybe I’m nagging him too much. Maybe I’m annoying him.  
“Hey,” Ryan places his hands on my stomach. “You’re about ten weeks now, right?” Ryan smiles.  
“Somewhere around there. I think nine or ten sounds about right.” I shrug. “Are you nervous?”  
“Nope,” Ryan shakes his head. “I’m excited. I can’t wait to have another baby around the house.”  
“No more after this little one.” I warn him.  
Ryan’s face drops. “What are we limiting ourselves here?”  
“I don’t know if I want to have more kids. I want to come back to Rooster Teeth one day,” I offer a weak smile. “Promise me. This is our last baby.”  
“I wanted maybe one or two more…” Ryan mumbles.  
“Ryan.” I sigh.  
“Can we at least keep it open for discussion?” Ryan begs.  
I roll my eyes. “Okay. We will see. But I’m telling you, I’m set on this being the last baby.”  
“Whatever makes you happy,” Ryan presses his lips to mine. He pulls away. “Besides… We can always adopt.”  
“Ryan.”  
“Okay, sorry.”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The next week has been pretty quiet. No uproar from Tom. He respected Eric’s wish and didn’t push the subject anymore.  
I get started making dinner. Ryan should be home in the next hour. Ashlynn is helping me to keep her mind off of missing Ryan.  
“Ashlynn, sweetheart, go in the fridge and find me the bell peppers. Daddy loves those.”  
“Uhhhh…” Ashlynn stares into the refrigerator.  
“It’s on the bottom shelf. It’s the green looking thing.” I giggle.  
Ashlynn pulls out an apple.  
“Uh… Thanks, sweetie. Good job,” I stifle a laugh. “But that’s an apple.”  
“I know. I’m hungry.” Ashlynn takes a bite of the apple. No, she’s not. I know her too well. She trying to cover up the fact she can’t find the peppers.  
I sigh and point on the bell peppers to her.  
“Ohhhh,” She smiles. “That thing!”  
“Mom!” Eric and Lori wander in the kitchen. “Can I borrow some of Dad’s games? I wanted to show Lori some of the achievements I got.”  
“I don’t care, Eric.” Lori rolls her eyes.  
She’s so precious. Poor girl has a gamer best friend and she has no interest. Which is ironic considering Geoff is her father.  
“Go ahead. Your father should be home soon, anyway. But maybe you should do something Lori wants to do.” I suggest.  
“We will! I just wanna show her really quick!” Eric runs into the living room.  
“Ugh…” Lori sighs, following after him. They grab a game and head up to Eric’s room.  
There’s a heavy pound at the door. Is that Ryan? Maybe he’s home early and lost his keys. I open the front door.  
I freeze in horror when I see Tom standing at the door.  
“So,” He steps closer, close enough where I can smell alcohol on him. “Where’s my son?”  
“Tom, what are you doing here?” I gulp. Must stay strong. Don’t be afraid. Don’t show fear. How did he find the house?  
“I just want to see my son.” Tom tries to step in, I block his path.  
“Ashlynn, go upstairs!” I call to her. “Lock the door behind you! Don’t open it until I say so!”  
Ashlynn peeks her head out of the kitchen. “Mommy? What-”  
“Ashlynn, do what you’re told and don’t ask questions!” I shout. I hate yelling at her. But I don’t want her in any danger.  
Ashlynn frowns and does what she’s told. She runs up the steps.  
“Now, this isn’t nice,” Tom frowns. “I’m just here to see Eric.”  
“Eric doesn’t want to see you!” I growl. “We had a deal. You need to leave!”  
“Just let me see him,” The agitation in Tom’s voice grows. “It’s not fair.”  
“Tom-” I begin to protest. Tom pushes me aside. I catch myself on the wall before I fall.  
“Where is he?” Tom starts looking around, making his way into the living room.  
“He’s not here. He’s at a friend’s house.” I gulp.  
“Is he?” Tom stalks the room, pacing back and forth. “Then, I’ll wait for him to get back.”  
“You need to leave!” I step forward.  
“I’ll leave when I see him.” Tom stands over me. “Why don’t you give him a call and make him come home?”  
I gulp. What do I do? The kids are upstairs. I don’t know what to do!  
Wait… “I’ll call him. Sure. Hold on.” I take out my cell phone. I speed dial Ryan’s number.  
“Hey, I’m still at work, hon. I’ll be home in about an hour.” Ryan answers.  
“Hey, Eric, I know you’re having fun at your friend’s house, but maybe you should come home early.” I try to sound calm over the phone.  
“Huh? Riley, it’s Ryan.”  
“Uh huh. I know,” I gulp. “Your dad wants to see you.”  
“What are you talking-?”  
“Right! Tom! Your father! He’s at the house!” I grit my teeth. Come on, Ryan.  
Tom eyes me suspiciously.  
Ryan’s tone changes. I hear rustling in the background. “I’m on my way now! I’ll be there in about five minutes! I’m calling the cops and hopefully they should be there before me!” Ryan hangs up.  
“Okay, see you soon, Eric.” I blink away some tears. I shouldn’t be this scared.  
Before I could put my phone away, Tom snatches my phone from me. “So,” he looks through the phone history. “Ryan, eh?”  
I gulp. “His friend’s Dad is named Ryan.”  
Tom shakes his head tossing the phone over his shoulder. “Why are you making this difficult? I just want to see the boy.” Tom stomps over to me and grips my wrist. “Where is he?”  
“He’s not here! I told you!” I try to pull my arm away.  
Tom pulls me forward, causing me to fall past him. I try to catch myself or throw myself on my side but… it happened so quickly.  
I land flat on my stomach. There was no way to avoid it.  
I scramble to get off the ground, hoping it’s not too late. I’m only 11 weeks, so the baby should be well protected, right?  
Tom pushes me back down, my head slamming into the ground. Everything starts getting fuzzy. I fight to keep my eyes open. Stars dance in my vision. Tom leans down to me. “All you had to do is let me see Eric. This whole thing could have been avoided.”  
I hear a door slam from outside. Is that the cops?  
“Did you call the cops, too?” Tom stands up. “Now, I’m pissed.” He kicks my side. Each kick is a sharp pain the shocks through my body. I try to shield myself with my arms.  
“Leave her alone!” I hear Eric shout from the steps.  
I look up. Eric is charging towards Tom.  
“Eric…” I try to shout, but my voice is weak. I cough. “Go… Go protect Ashlynn and Lori.”  
Eric doesn’t listen. He throws punches Tom’s way. Tom doesn’t flinch.  
“It’s been so long. And you still try to fight. Just like you used to.” Tom grabs Eric’s arm.  
“Let… Let him… go!” I feel weak, but I try to hit Tom’s leg. I know it’s not that effective.  
Tom releases Eric and kicks the side of my head. A pounding can be heard in my head. I struggle to keep awake.  
The door springs open and Ryan charges in. Without stopping, he sprints towards Tom and tackles him to the ground. Ryan straddles on top of Tom, throwing a flurry of punches to the face.  
Geoff runs in after Ryan. “Eric, go outside! Where are the girls?”  
Eric points outside and he runs outside. I can see red and blue lights flashing from outside.  
Geoff rushes upstairs. Cops pour in through the door. They surround Ryan and Tom, trying to peel Ryan off of him.  
“Sir, we got it! We got it from here!” A cop shouts. “Go check on your wife!”  
Ryan instantly stops attacking and rushes to my side. “Baby,” He whispers. He leans close to me, careful not to move me. “They have an ambulance outside. They’re going to take Tom away and we’re going to get you somewhere safe.”  
“The kids…” I try to speak.  
“They’re safe. Eric is with the cops outside and Geoff is coming down with Ashlynn and Lori.”  
“Oh, my baby, are you okay?” I hear Geoff sigh with relief. He’s carrying Ashlynn in his arms as he hugs Lori. “I was worried about you. Both of you, honestly.”  
“Ryan…” I cough. “The baby...”  
Ryan tilts his head in confusion. His eye grow wide once he realizes. He touches my stomach gently, which causes me to wince. “She needs to go now!” Ryan shouts. “Get the paramedics in here!”  
Before I know it, I’m being lifted and rushed into an ambulance as things fade to black.


	9. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley wakes up in the hospital.

A light floods into my eyelids. I force my eyes open. I see white walls. I lift my head up, ignoring the dizzy feeling. I’m in a hospital room.

“You’re up?” 

I look to my side. Ryan is sitting in a chair next to me, arms crossed. 

“The doctors have been in and out. They’re waiting for you to be awake.”

A doctor strolls in. “And now that you’re awake, we can do some standard tests,” He smiles. “I’m Dr. Oswald. Do you know where you are?”

“A…. hospital..?” My voice is low and scratchy.

Dr. Oswald nods. “I know it’s difficult to speak, but try and answer the following questions. What is your full name?”

“Riley Anne Haywood.”

“What state are we in?”

“Texas.”

“When is your birthday?”

“November 17, 1992…. I’m 29 years old…”

“What’s two plus two?”

“Four.”

“What’s the color of your husband’s shirt?” Dr. Oswald points to Ryan.

“Green.” Seriously, why is this relevant?

“Her memory seems to be fine,” Dr. Oswald starts writing notes. “Okay, soon, we need to run more test-”

“Wait, I’m more interested in how my baby is doing,” I try to sit up, but the pain is too great. “I… I got kicked in the stomach pretty bad…. I need to make sure the baby is okay.”

“How far along are you?”

“Eleven weeks.”

Dr. Oswald smiles. “Oh, you have nothing to worry about. It’s a very small percentage that the baby was harmed in any way. At eleven weeks, the baby is still very well protected. But, to give you some peace of mind, we’ll get you to the ultrasound room and check up on the little one.”

Ryan and I relax our shoulders a bit.

“I’ll go make some preparations. I’ll be back to get you. You can have some visitors come in, if you like.” He explains as he leaves.

“Ashlynn has been dying to see you,” Ryan takes my hand. “She’s been crying the whole time. We haven’t been able to get her to stop.”

“Not even you?”

Ryan shakes his head. “Nope. She wants Mommy. I’ll text Olivia and tell her it’s safe for everyone to come in.”

Before Ryan can pull out his phone, Olivia rushes in. “The doctor sent me!” She rushes to my bedside. “Ri, are you okay?!”

“Yeah, I’m perfectly fine! I’m in the hospital just to worry people,” I roll my eyes. “Of course I’m not.” I cough. My voice is still soft.

“Well, she’s starting to talk normal again. Are you in any pain?” Olivia asks as Ashlynn sprints through the door, tears running down her cheeks.

“Mommy!” She cries. She attempts to jump on the bed, only to be caught by Ryan. 

“Shhh, Princess. Lower your voice. There are other patients in the hospital.” Ryan says in a calm voice.

“Hand her over,” I reach out my arms to her. Ryan places Ashlynn on the bed. Ashlynn scrambles into my arms. “Mommy’s okay now.”

“I was scared….” Ashlynn curls up in a ball.

“It’s okay now. Mommy protected you. You were such a good girl, doing what you were told.” I soothe her by petting her head. It still hurts to talk, but I have to comfort my little girl.

“I should’ve just seen him….” There’s a mumble by the door. We look up. Eric is walking in the room. “You wouldn’t have gotten hurt if I just went to see him…”

Sara walks in after him. “No, it’s my fault…”

“Both of you stop…” Ryan shakes his head. “Eric, you’re just a kid. If you didn’t want to see him, you didn’t have to. And Sara, you were trying to do the right thing. I should have been home. I stayed a little late at work. I should have been at home.”

“No! If I just went to visit him, he wouldn’t have come! Mom wouldn’t have to protect me!” Eric sniffles, holding back tears. “It’s my fault.”

The three of them go back and forth.

“It’s my fault!”

“No, it’s not! It’s mine!”

“I couldn’t protect my family!”

“Guys…” I try to speak over them. It’s no use. My voice is too weak.

Olivia notices me trying to get their attention. She sighs when no one hears me. “HEY!” Olivia shouts, getting the room silent. “Shame on all of you!” Olivia crosses her arms. “Thinking of yourselves. Riley is the one in pain, laying in the hospital bed. It’s no one’s fault. What happened, just happened. No reason to argue over it. You all should be thanking Riley for the sacrifice she made by protecting the kids. She put herself in danger to protect them.”

“Thank you,” Geoff and Lori step forward. I don’t even remember them walking into the room. “Thank you for protecting Lori. I know you had a lot at stake.”

“It’s what any parent would do.” I shrug. I really hope the baby is okay. Even though I protected the kids, I put my baby in danger because of my carelessness. 

“The cops wanted to know if you wanted to press charges.” Sara steps forward. “They asked me, but I told them it wasn’t my call to make.”

“Let’s focus on letting Riley heal first.” Ryan suggests.

I nod. “I need to think about it. Honestly, I’m leaning towards just letting him go,” I continue before people can protest. “Throwing him in jail won’t do any good. He clearly needs help.”

“That’s so foolish.” Sara shakes her head.

“Like I said, we should let her heal first.” Ryan jumps back in.

Dr. Oswald wanders back in the room. “Mrs. Haywood, we’re ready for you. Did you want anyone to come with you?”

“My husband.” I slip my hand into his. I can’t go through this without him. 

“Feel better, baby.” Ashlynn pets my stomach lightly.

Ryan lifts Ashlynn and sets her in the chair he used to be sitting in. My heart pounds at they begin to wheel my bed to the room.

“I’m here with you,” Ryan squeezes my hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Your baby is obviously not fully developed yet. But there should still be a heartbeat and the baby should be moving around a lot. You just can’t feel it yet.” The nurse explains, stethoscope in her ears. She’s trying to listen for a heartbeat. 

Ryan brings my hand to his lips. I’m somewhat relieved. So far, the doctors don’t seem concerned. They seem pretty positive that the baby is okay. This is a good sign.

The nurse moves the stethoscope around, trying to locate the heartbeat. She frowns. She stops listening and stands up.  “Uh, I’ll be right back.” She says, walking out of the room.

Ryan and I look at each other. “That’s…. not good, is it?” I feel tears begin to form.

“No, I’m sure everything is fine.” Ryan tries to comfort me. His voice is comforting and assuring, but his expression doesn’t match.

“Ryan…” I try to say something.

“Listen,” Ryan cuts me off, stroking my hair. “No matter what the doctor says, I love you. Okay? And whatever happens, we will get through it together.” His voice wavers.

Why? Nothing is wrong, right? So, he shouldn’t be upset.

Dr. Oswald walks in and sits in front of me and Ryan. “Uh, I’m going to try and listen for a heartbeat,” he says, taking the nurse’s place. He listens around. After a while, he shakes his head. “Uh, since you’re still very early in your pregnancy, we have to do an internal sonogram.”

“So… can you hear the baby?” I gulp as the doctor sets me up for the internal sonogram.

Dr. Oswald remains silent, as if unwilling to speak. “Uh,” He says after a brief pause. “We can’t pick up on a heartbeat. But,” He quickly adds. “Maybe it’s still too early to hear that.”

“But that doesn’t make sense.” Ryan begins to argue. “The baby should obviously have a heartbeat right now.”

“Um…” Dr. Oswald stops talking. He finishes up the sonogram in silence. “I have… some rather upsetting news…”

The room fills with a deafening silence….

“This is rather uncommon, but the baby has unfortunately… uh… passed away... This is a very unusual case. I guess the impact was too great-”

I drown out the doctor at this point. I turn my head to Ryan. His expression is blank, his eyes turning glassy.

“-I’m going to give you two a few moments alone.” Dr. Oswald stands. “I’m very sorry.” Dr. Oswald leaves. The room remains silent. 

I killed our baby… If I had just been strong enough to push Tom out the door, I could have locked him out…

“Ryan….?” I reach my hand out to him.

“I honestly don’t know how I’m going to be okay...” His voice cracks. He wraps his arms around me. I can’t hold it in anymore. I break down in his arms, tears wetting his chest. I can feel Ryan shaking, his tears dripping on my head. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The nurses wheel my bed back into the room, Ryan trailing behind. Geoff and Olivia instantly turn their attention to us as we enter the room. Ashlynn is curled up in a chair, fast asleep, a mess of papers surrounding her. I guess they kept her busy with drawing. Sara and Eric are not in the room

“How did everything go?” Olivia asks as the nurses set me back up in my room.

Ryan and I remain silent, our eyes dark and swollen.

“Uh, Lori, why don’t we go? Mom is starting to worry.” Geoff suggests.

“But I wanna stay with Eric!” She protests. “I want to make sure he’s okay!”

Geoff shakes his head. “We really need to get home.” He explains. “I think we need to let the family be with each other. Go ahead. I’ll be out right behind you.”

Lori nods and leaves the room. Geoff places a hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Geoff glues his gaze to the floor. “I’m very, very sorry.” Geoff lets out a heavy sigh and leaves the room.

Olivia steps forward. “… Riley…?”

I sigh and pull out the results of the internal sonogram. “This is her…..” I hand her the pictures. “They at least managed to find out her gender for us….”

“She didn’t make it…” Ryan says quietly. “She just didn’t make it….”

Olivia opens her mouth to speak, but for the first time since I’ve known her, she was speechless.

Ashlynn sits up, rubbing her eyes. “Oh, you’re back,” She yawns. “I did this for my baby brother or sister,” Ashlynn hops off the chair, handing me a drawing. “I wanted the baby to feel better. So I made this. Look, there’s you, me, Daddy, Eric, and the baby.”

Tears begin to prick at my eyes. Ryan takes the picture from her. “Thank you. The baby would love this.” Ryan forces a smile. I don’t know how he does it. He’s so good at hiding when something is wrong.

“We have to tell her eventually.” I whisper, trying not to cry.

“Not now. Not here. We have to wait until we are home and then we can sit her down and explain…” Ryan shakes his head. “She’s been through too much today… We all have…”

“Ashlynn,” Olivia holds out her hand. “Why don’t we go to the kid’s room? I’m sure there will be plenty of toys to play with!” 

“Okay!” Ashlynn smiles, holding Olivia’s hand as she leads her out of the room.

Sara and Eric wander in. “The doctor’s kinda… filled us in on the way.” Sara explains, avoiding eye contact.

Eric lowers his head. “This is my fault?”

“No,” Ryan shakes his head and walks up to Eric. “It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. It just happened-”

“It’s Tom’s fault,” I growl. Ryan looks over to me. “I want him in jail.”

“Riley, that’s not like you-” Sara begins to protest.

“I want him to rot in jail!” I scream. I’m sick of being nice. I’m sick of giving people second chances. “If possible, I want him DEAD!”

If my baby didn’t get a chance to live, why should Tom have a life? What has he ever done with his life? He threw it away. He doesn’t deserve another chance. I want him gone. I want him dead. I’ve never felt this much hate for one person. I’ve never had this amount of pain sinking into my chest. I hate this feeling. I hate people like him. I hate everyone.

“I want him dead, too.” Ryan agrees quietly. “This is our official answer to the police. We want him put away for good. I never want to see his face again. Make it happen.” Ryan rants. “I’m going to talk to the police if they’re still around.”

“Let me,” Sara offers. “Come on, Eric.” Sara ushers him out of the room. “Let’s give them some time alone.”

The door closes behind them. More silence.

“I mean it,” I finally speak. “I want him dead.”

“I know,” Ryan nods, his back still turned to me. “I wish I could do it myself.”

“…. Do you blame me…?” I ask.

Ryan turns to face me. “Why would I blame you?”

“The kids were already locked upstairs. I should have just locked myself away somewhere…..”

“You did what you felt you had to do. You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t make yourself to be the villain. You calling me was a good call. I was there before the cops could reach you.”

“You say that….” Tears begin to fall again. “But I still can’t help but feel responsible…”

“And nothing I say can probably change that,” Ryan sits on the bed next to me. He pulls me close without hurting me. “But I think you did the right thing…”

“If it was the right thing, why am I hurting so much…?” I bury my face into his chest and let out another cry.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The doctors let me go home late that night. Today, Ryan sat down with Ashlynn alone…. She didn’t take it very well… I could hear her crying all the way from our room.

I’ve been lying in bed all day. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to do anything. I lay in bed, rubbing my stomach. The baby has to be removed. I have the appointment tomorrow. I still keep hoping that maybe somehow, she’s going to randomly come back, then they won’t have to remove her. But… we all know that’s not going to happen.

 Ryan took off the rest of the week to stay home. Geoff understood completely.

The door creaks open. Ryan slips in, closing the door behind him. “You haven’t gotten out of bed all day.”

“I can’t,” I shake my head. “I just can’t….”

Ryan makes his way to me silently. He gets on the bed, hovering over me. He leans in slowly before his lips graze against mine. “Don’t do this,” He whispers. “Don’t isolate yourself. I know it’s hard but we have to get through this together. You don’t have to go through this alone.” He reconnects our lips. He props himself on his elbows, using both hands to cup my face, bringing me close to him. 

I know I’m not going through it alone. But I feel like we are going through two completely different things….


	10. Is That What You Want?

 A small knock wakes me up. “Mommy,” Ashlynn calls outside the door. “Are you okay now? Can we play? I haven’t see you in forever!”

I hear footsteps quickly approach the door. “Ashlynn, sweetheart, I told you to leave Mommy alone. She’s not feeling well.” Ryan explains. I hear the footsteps start walking down the steps. 

“But I wanna see Mommy!” I hear Ashlynn’s protest grow quiet. I’m sure Ryan was bringing her back downstairs.

I can’t keep doing this to myself…. Or my family. It’s been a week since they removed the baby. According to the autopsy they performed, it wasn’t the impact from Tom at all. She was already dead before that. Tom’s attack had nothing to do with her death. It just helped us realize she was gone…. So then something is wrong with me…. I’m a failure as a mother….

Olivia has come by almost every day. She makes sure I at least have something to eat. She doesn’t say much, which I’m thankful for. She’s the only one I’ve been able to break down in front of.

Ryan has been trying to be supportive this whole time. I kept pushing him away. There’s nothing he can say or do to make this okay…He eventually got the hint and started giving me the space I need. He started sleeping downstairs. He knows he’ll just be kicked out, anyway.

I finally hop out of bed. If I never try, I’ll never get over this. I have to see my family. I need to see how they’re doing….

I wander down the steps. Ryan is sitting on the couch, watching T.V. with Ashlynn.

“Yaaay! Mommy’s up!” Ashlynn jumps off the couch. She sprints to me, hugging on my legs.

Ryan’s eyes grow wide. “You’re up?”

I nod. Ashlynn runs back in front of the T.V.

“I’m glad,” Ryan sits up. “Would you like anything to eat?”

“Maybe later.” I shake my head.

“Come here.” He pats the spot on the couch next to him. I walk to the couch and sit next to him. Ryan wraps his arm around me and plants a kiss on my forehead. “I’m glad you’re here.” He whispers lovingly into my ear.

I snuggle close to him. I still feel miserable, but I still have to try. I can’t keep pushing him away. I can’t lose him, too.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you sure? I can stay home if you need me to.” Ryan insists.

“No, it’s fine! I can handle this!” I smile. I’ve never felt more fake. But I have to try. This is for my family. I can’t keep isolating myself.

“Okay, then I’m off!” Ryan smiles, pulling me in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” I answer as he leaves.

“Mommy!” Ashlynn shouts from the kitchen.

“Hold on!” I sigh as I drag myself into the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“When is it going to snow?” She asks.

“Sweetie, we live in Texas. It’s not very likely that it’s going to snow.” I chuckle.

“I want to go sledding! I was watching T.V. and these kids looked like they were having fun in the snow!” Ashlynn pouts.

“Maybe one day, Daddy and I will take you somewhere with snow.” I promise her. 

“Really?!” Her eyes light up. “When?!”

“Let me talk to your father about it, okay?” I pet her head. “Now finish your breakfast. Mommy has some work to do. If you need anything, I’ll be in Daddy’s office, okay?”

“Okay!” Ashlynn gives me a thumbs up and continues to eat her cereal.

I walk up to Ryan’s office. Everything is set up for me. I’m finally going to start editing for Achievement Hunter. Ashlynn made me realize something. We have never been on a family vacation. Maybe it’s time. Maybe it’s just what we need.

I start reviewing the footage from this week’s Worms Let’s Play. This is the first video I’ve worked on in almost six years. It feels nice to start working again. Best part is, I’m at home if Ashlynn needs me.

“Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” Ashlynn whines from downstairs. Speak of the Devil. “Can paint be cleaned out of carpet? …. I’m just wondering.”

“Ashlynn Nicole Haywood! What did you do?!” I shout, jumping up from the computer. I run down stairs. I probably won’t get a lot of work done, but it’s better than nothing.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m home!” Ryan calls as he walks through the front door. Of course, late again.

“I need you to take off from work.” I command. No hello, just a command.

Ryan frowns. “Uh, what? Why? For how long?”

“About a week. I want to go on vacation.” I answer.

“Where is this coming from?” Ryan walks past me.

I follow behind. “Ashlynn was talking about snow this morning. I think it would be nice if we went as a family. We never go anywhere.”

Ryan bites his lip. “Would that make you feel better?” 

I nod.

“If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do. I’d do anything for you.” He kissed my forehead.

“Great! We leave in two weeks!” I cheer.

Ryan frowns again. “Did you plan everything without me?”

“I got excited! There’s a great ski resort and spa in Michigan. I had to jump at the chance.” I explain.

Ryan sighs. “Okay, I’ll take some time off. Did you book flights and everything?”

“Uh huh! Everything is taken care of!” I smile.

“At least you’re smiling. That’s all that matters to me.” He tucks my hair behind my ears.

“Oh, one more thing. Brendon and Olivia are coming, too.” I add.

Ryan’s face drops. “Why?” He asks in a flat tone.

“They can watch the kid from time to time! We can spend some time alone.” I reason. I know that’s the only thing that will cheer him up.

A smile spreads across his face. “Alone, huh? You know,” He pulls me close to him. “It was been a while since we-”

I pull away from him before he can kiss me. “We better go let the kids know. I bet they’ll be excited.”

“Fine…” Ryan grumbles as he follows me to the living room.

“Eric, Ashlynn,” We stand near the couch. They look at our direction. “Your father has something to tell you guys.” I nudge Ryan.

“Oh no, you’re getting divorced?!” Eric’s eyes widen.

“What?! No!” I shake my head. Why would he jump to that conclusion?

“Eric, don’t be silly. We love each other. We’re not getting divorced. What we wanted to tell you is that we’re going on a vacation in two weeks. Eric, you have winter break coming up so you won’t miss any school.” Ryan says.

“What? Nooooooo.” Eric sighs.

“Yaaaay!” Ashlynn cheers. “Where?”

“We’re going to a snow resort,” Ryan nods. “It’s going to be fun!”

“Snow?!” Ashlynn springs up. “I’m going to go pack!” She charges up the stairs.

“Sweetheart! We aren’t leaving yet!” I laugh as I call up to her.

“Dad, Lori and I have plans!” Eric argues.

“You will only be gone a week. You can still see her when we get back.” Ryan reasons.

“This is so dumb…. I’m going to be stuck with Ashlynn the whole time….” He grumbles, crossing his arms.

“No, you won’t. This is supposed to be fun, so we’ll do things you want to do, too.” I promise. “Besides, Olivia and Brendon are tagging along, so if we need someone to watch Ashlynn, they can do it.”

“Really?” Eric sits up.

I nod. “I promise.”

“Well, I’m going to call Lori.” Eric hops off the couch and heads to the kitchen.

“You know, we could buy another plane ticket…” I mumble.

“What’s on your mind?” Ryan crosses his arms.

“How cool would it be if Lori could come, too? Eric would have someone to hang out with.”

“Nuh uh! Not happening.” Ryan shakes his head. “Geoff would never let that happen! What room would she stay in?”

“She can stay with Eric and Ashlynn.” I offer.

“Are you kidding me? Letting a teenage boy and girl sleep in the same room? Geoff would fucking murder me.”

“Relax! They’re just friends! Besides, Ashlynn will be there. They won’t be able to do anything.” I argue.

“Really?” Ryan shakes his head. “When you’re that age, it doesn’t matter.”

“Okay, well then why don’t we see if Griffon and Geoff want to tag along?” I start heading for the kitchen.

“Are you out of your mind?!” Ryan tries to stop me.

“Eric,” I tap his shoulder. “May I speak to Geoff?”

“Uh, sure?” Eric looks confused. “Lori, can you get your dad? My mom wants to talk to him.”

Eric hands me the phone. Ryan is no longer in the kitchen. Perhaps he gave up. 

“Hello?” Geoff answers.

“Geoff! How are you?” I ask.

Another person picks up the phone. “Geoff, you don’t have to!” Ryan is on the other line. Great.

“Oh! This seems fun! Griffon! Jump on the other phone! It’s Riley and Ryan!” Geoff calls out.

Griffon joins the call. “Hi, guys!”

“So, I wanted to let you know that Ryan needs to use some vacation time in like two weeks.” I explain.

“Okay, that’s fine.” Geoff says.

“Riley, don’t do it.” Ryan warns.

“And I was thinking since our family was going somewhere and since Eric and Lori are so close, why not invite you guys along?” I continue.

“Geoff, you don’t have to. It’s one of her last minute ideas.” Ryan sighs.

“Oh, where at? We could use some time off!” Griffon pipes in.

ANOTHER person jumps on the line. “Geoff!” A voice squawks. Oh, it’s Gavin. “I want to go, too!” 

“No! No more people!” Ryan roars.

“Get off the line, asshole! You don’t live here anymore!” Geoff scolds.

“But Geoff!” Gavin begins to whine. There’s a struggle before Gavin hangs up.

“Sorry, Gavin and Tabby are over for dinner. Tabby just tackled him off the phone.” Geoff explains. “Anyway, give us the name of the place and we’ll see what we can do. I think it’s a great idea.”

“Sure. It’s in Michigan. It’s called “Great Escape”.”

“Okay, we’ll call back to let you know.” Griffon says.

“Unbelievable…” Ryan groans.

“I know! Going on vacation with your best friend? You must be in heaven.” Geoff teases.

“I really hate you.” Ryan sighs.

“Nah, you can’t say that. I can fire you. Bye!” There’s a bit of rustling as Geoff hands the phone back to Lori.

I give the phone back to Eric. “Here ‘ya go!”

“Are you sure? Are you okay with Lori coming along?” Eric beams.

“I think it will be fun,” I pet his head. “I’d love for them to come along. But I have to ask you something.”

“Hold on, I’ll be right back.” Eric puts Lori on hold and give me his attention.

“When we told you we had something to tell you, why did you think we were getting a divorce?”

Eric shifts in his seat, uncomfortably. “I just…. You guys haven’t been talking, Dad sleeps on the couch, and he’s been working late…. It just looked like you weren’t talking anymore…. I thought you guys we’re mad at each other.”

“Okay,” I nod. “That’s all I wanted to know. You have nothing to worry about. Go on and talk to Lori now.”

“Okay.” Eric says before going back to talking with Lori.

I walk out of the kitchen and start heading upstairs. Eric shouldn’t be worried. But that fact that he was, concerns me. And he brings out a good point. Ryan is coming home from work late again. This is my fault…. Just more proof that I’m a terrible wife and mother…

 Ryan blocks the top of the stairs, his arms crossed. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“What? With Geoff and Griffon? Now Eric will have someone to hang out with when we’re in the spa! Eric doesn’t have a lot of friends, you know.” I remind him.

“I know.” Ryan sighs. “Fine. I guess it won’t be so bad.” Ryan pulls me close to him. “Like I said, as like as you’re happy.”

I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach as he presses against me. I love Ryan…. I’m still not comfortable being around him yet. I don’t know why…. Maybe I just don’t want to let him down again….

I gently push him away. I walk to our room with no explanation.

“Am I still sleeping on the couch?” Ryan asks.

I close the door behind me.

“So, that’s a yes.” Ryan sighs through the door. “Okay….”

I’m sorry, Ryan… I’m not trying to push you away… I just need more time…

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Moooooooommy, how many more days nooooooooooow?” Ashlynn sings. 

“Eight.” I say, placing her food in front of her. “We still need to go shopping for a warmer coat for everyone. We’re going to go to the mall as soon as Daddy gets home.”

Eric pokes into the kitchen. “Shouldn’t he be home by now?”

“He should,” I say, checking the time. There’s that uneasy feeling again. “I’ll call him.”

“Can’t. He left his phone here.” Eric explains. 

“Oh,” I frown. “Then why don’t I drive down to the office? I have to give Geoff his flash drive back, anyway. I’ll see how long he’s is going to take. Eric, you’re in charge.” I slip on my coat. I’m not checking up on him. I just want to see him…

“Okay.” Eric nods.

“Eric! While you’re in charge, you should get rid of our bedtimes!” Ashlynn cheers.

“I don’t have a bedtime. I’m not a baby.” Eric scoffs.

“Nice try, Ashlynn. But maybe you shouldn’t have said that in front of me.” I giggle.

“Oh no! Mommy, you didn’t hear that!” Ashlynn whines.

“Of course I didn’t,” I humor her. I grab my car keys off the table. “I’ll be back!” I shout as I leave the house. I get in my car and start driving. I’m glad the drive to the office is short. I’m there in about five minutes.

I park and get out of the car. I notice there are only a few cars. I walk through the front door. That girl isn’t at the reception desk. “I swear, she needs to do her job and stop running around.” I sigh as I sign in.

“Riley!” Geoff stops as he passes me. 

“I came to give you your flash drive back. Everything is edited and I threw in some ideas for future Let’s Plays.” I explain, handing back his flash drive.

“Thanks! So, we have our tickets ready for the trip. Thanks again for the invite. Lori is so excited. She would have been so bored without Eric around.” Geoff says as he looks behind me.

“No problem. Is Ryan in the Achievement Hunter office?”

“Uh, yeah. Last time I saw him. No Rebecca? Where’d she go? I really need to talk to Burnie about this. She’s not doing her job.” Geoff steps around me.

“Well, I’m going to find Ryan. Later, Geoff.” I say as I rush away. I don’t know why, but not knowing where that girl is makes me uneasy.

I speed towards the Achievement Hunter office. “Come on, Ryan.” A female voice whines. I freeze. I stop right by the door and peek in. Well… I found Rebecca…

Rebecca is straddling Ryan’s lap as he sits down. He’s looking at his computer, trying to work.

However, he makes no attempt to push her off.

“I’m not in the mood, Rebecca.”

“Just talk to me.” She insists.

“You want to know?” He sighs. “Fine. Yes, I’m still hurt over losing the baby.”

“What was the cause again? It was your wife’s fault, right?”

“Stop it,” Ryan growls. “Don’t say that. Don’t blame her. It’s not her fault.”

“Why do you have to leave? You should stay.” Rebecca says, changing the subject. She leaning down to kiss his neck.

“What am I supposed to say?” Ryan groans. “Seriously, you need to stop.”

“I don’t see you trying to stop me.” She grins.

“I’m married.” Ryan reminds her. He rests his hands on her hips.

Really now? It seems you’re trying to remind yourself that more than her.

“Why do you have to go away for a week? You aren’t even getting along.” She pouts.

“That’s not true…..” Ryan says in a weak voice.

“Really? When’s that last time you slept with her?”

“None of your business.” Ryan snaps.

“I can give you that,” She kisses up his neck to his ear. “All you have to do is just give in.”

I feel sick….

Ryan sighs. “You’re an attractive girl, but this needs to stop,” Ryan brushes her hair out of her face. “You need to find someone your own age. This flirting has gone on for too long.”

“But I want you.” She argues.

“I love my wife. It doesn’t matter if things aren’t going well now. I can’t do this to her.”

“You love her, but you like me, too.” Rebecca reminds him.

Ryan pauses. “…. Yeah. I do…”

I step from behind the wall and cross my arms. I’m holding back tears.

Rebecca’s eyes grow wide as she scrambles off his lap. With a confused look, Ryan turns to see what she’s afraid of. His face drops when he sees me. “Riley….”

“So is this what happens when you work late?” I growl.

“No, you have the wrong idea. I didn’t do anything wrong…” Ryan gets out of his chair. He takes a few steps towards me.

“Don’t lie to me!” I shout. “Is this what’s been going on? Whatever this is. Is she the reason why you stay late?”

Ryan freezes, scratching the back of his head before answering. “Kinda…”

“What does that mean, Ryan?!” I shout.

“I…. we…. We don’t do anything… We just talk…” Ryan explains in a hushed tone.

“And you can’t come home to talk to me?” Tears prick out from my eyes. “What about me?”

“… Sometimes it’s hard to talk to you….”

The room goes silent. I did this to myself… I caused this… “Then keep doing what you’re doing, I suppose…” I mumble as I turn to leave.

“Wait!” Ryan grabs my hand. “What does that mean?”

“I need to think…”

“Wait!” Ryan spins me around to face him. His eyes are glassy. “Talk to me.”

“I need to think about some things…” I pull away from his grip. I storm out of the office.

“Riley!” Ryan sprints after me. “Wait!”

I push him against a wall. “Leave me alone.” I insist. “You think you’re the only one not happy with how our lives are going?! Okay, so you didn’t cheat. Good for you. But you sure as hell didn’t attempt to help me. Instead of coming to me for help or to make sure I was okay, you went to someone else.”

“Riley, I did try! You kept pushing me away!” Ryan insist. “I’m sorry! Let’s just talk about this!”

“I don’t want to talk. Just leave me alone….” I try to walk away again.

“I can’t do that!” Ryan grabs my arm. He shoves me against the wall. “You said leaving you alone was making this worse! So what I’m trying to do now is NOT leave you alone. Talk to me! What can I do to make this better?”

“Just,” I push him off. “Give me some time. I know you technically didn’t do anything wrong…. Just give me time to think…” I worm my way out of Ryan’s arms and leave.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mommy… why are we at Auntie Livy’s house?” Ashlynn asks me for the fifth time tonight.

“It’s a slumber party, sweetheart. Please, go play in the living room. I’ll come in their after I’m done talking.” I usher her away.

Olivia waits for Ashlynn to leave before continuing. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know… Should I be upset?” 

“I don’t blame you for being mad. You’re right, he didn’t cheat. But he didn’t really push her away, right? It’s your decision. You and Ashlynn are welcome to stay here as long as you like. Where’s Eric?”

“He chose to stay. I didn’t tell him why I left the house, but I think he suspects something….” I sigh.

“Well, what about the trip? I won’t go if you don’t go.” Olivia insists. 

“I don’t know…. I just want to think about things…” I curl up in my seat. There’s a knocking coming from the front door. “That’s… probably him…”

“I’ll get rid of him. Go with Ashlynn and Brendon in the other room.” Olivia instructs. I obey. 

“Are you okay?” Brendon whispers.

“I’m fine….”

I hear Olivia answer the door.

“Where’s my family?”

“You need to leave, Ryan.” Olivia protests.

“I know they’re here! I saw her van in the driveway.”

“You need to- RYAN!” Olivia shouts. Ryan walks into the living room, Olivia hitting his arm.

“Why did you leave?” Ryan asks, his eyes are red and swollen. “I was driving around town! I was calling you!”

“Daddy!” Ashlynn runs to him, jumping in his arms. “Daddy! You should stay the night with us!”

“I told you I need to think. I’m not going to come home.” I cross my arms.

“Mommy?” Ashlynn frowns.

“Okay, fine then…. But why did you take Ashlynn?” Ryan looks so helpless.

“Because she’s my daughter. She goes where ever I go.”

“She’s my daughter, too!” Ryan shouts.

“Dude,” Brendon steps in. “You need to leave. At least give them a night with us. Maybe a night of peace is what you all need.”

Ryan’s eyes never leave me. “…. Is that what you want?”

I nod.

“Whatever makes you happy…” He grumbles. He sets Ashlynn down.

“Daddy?” Ashlynn reaches her arms up, waiting to be picked up.

“Daddy’s going home, Princess.” Ryan turns his back. “I love you.”

“Daddy, no….” Ashlynn tries to walk after him. “I wanna go home, too.”

“Stay with Mommy.” his voice wavers. 

Olivia scoops up Ashlynn and holds her back. Ashlynn wiggles to get out of her arms. “No! I want Daddy!”

Ryan takes a deep breath before leaving. 

I honestly don’t know how to feel…


	11. Inner Struggle

Ryan finally gets it. He’s finally left me alone. After five days of texts and random flowers, he finally went silent.

Ashlynn rests her head on the window sill. She’s been quiet for the last few days. “Ashlynn,” I call. “We’re going to the mall. Get your coat on.”

“I wanna wear a fluffy snow coat…” Ashlynn whines, not tearing her eyes from the window.

I freeze. “You only have one coat, dear. Put it on and we can go.” I instruct.

“No.” Ashlynn replies, not budging an inch.

“Ashlynn Nicole!” I scold.

“No.”

Olivia walks into the living room. “Riley, she can stay here with Brendon. He doesn’t mind watching her.”

“No,” I snap. “I’m her mother and she’s going to listen to me. She hasn’t wanted to do anything for a few days. She needs to get out for a bit.”

“Ashlynn,” Olivia calls. “Why don’t you want to come with us? I’ll buy you a new toy.”

“Want Daddy… Can he come?” 

Olivia shoots me a concerned look. “Riley…”

“Daddy isn’t allowed to come with us.” I remind her. I still need time to think… I’ve been putting off those thoughts for far too long.

“Then I’m not going.” Ashlynn replies, stubbornly. 

I try to contain my anger, but she’s making me so god damn angry. “Ashlynn,” I grit my teeth. “Listen to Mommy.”

“No.”

A low growl escapes my throat.

“Riley,” Olivia places a hand on my shoulder. “Calm down.”

“I’m going to count to three and you better start listening to me.” I threaten.

“No!” Ashlynn whips around. “Mommy is mean! Mommy is no fun anymore! I want to be with Daddy!”

I ball my hand into a fist. I’m really trying not to be angry. “Ashlynn. Watch your tone.” 

Ashlynn stops responding.

“One.” I start to count. Ashlynn still doesn’t move. “Two.”

 Ashlynn slides down from her chair. She silently walks over to the coat hanger and stands on her tippy toes to reach her coat.

God, finally.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why won’t you let her see Ryan?” Olivia whispers as Ashlynn walks a short distance in front of us.

“For her to see Ryan, I would have to take her. And I’m not ready to see him…” I respond.

“Honey, you have to face this. I’m worried about you.” Olivia shakes her head.

“What do you want me to do? Just forgive him?” I snap.

“I never said that. But you should talk to him. Whether you work things out or want to leave him, you need to get some kind of closure or else it’s going to drive you crazy.” Olivia explains.

“Oh!!” Ashlynn beams as she takes off into a store. 

“Ashlynn!” Olivia shouts as we rush after her. Ashlynn ducks into a nearby store.

“Ashlynn,” I pant as we catch up to her. “Don’t run off like….” I stop talking when I see who she ran to.

Ryan.

“You let our daughter just wander the mall by herself?” He smirks.

“Tee hee! Daddy!” Ashlynn giggles as she raises her arms to him.

 Ryan happily scoops her up. “Oh, Daddy missed his little Princess!” He snuggles her close.

“Hello, stranger!” Olivia walks right up to him. I stand a bit behind.

“Hi, Olivia,” Ryan looks past her. “Hi, Riley.”

I offer a small nod. Seeing him in public so soon is not an ideal situation for me.

“Daddy! I’m happy I came to the mall! I miss you!” Ashlynn cheers.

“Aww.” Ryan plants a kiss on her forehead and sets her down.

“When can I come home?” Ashlynn asks.

Ryan looks directly at me. “You and Mommy can come home whenever you’re ready to, sweetheart.”

I look away.

“Then I wanna come home now!” Ashlynn whines.

“Hey, Ashlynn, let’s go look at some toys!” Olivia takes Ashlynn’s hand and starts leading her away.

“Wait, Aunty Livy! I wanna talk to Daddy!” Ashlynn says, on the verge of tears.

“He’s not leaving yet. We’re going to give him and Mommy some room, okay?” Olivia explains as they walk away.

There’s an uncomfortable silence. “Uh,” Ryan finally says. “So, did you get the flowers?”

“Yeah.” I answer quickly.

“Good.” Ryan nods. “So… It’s been a few days-”

“Why are you here?” I cut him off. I’m not ready to talk about this. Especially not in a mall.

“I drove Eric and Lori and I’m sure they didn’t want to hang around with me. I’m just wandering around, trying to pass the time.” Ryan shrugs. “So, about Rebecca-”

“I’m going to go catch up with Olivia.” I try to walk past him.

Ryan steps in front of me. “Riley, wait. Talk to me. I really miss you.”

“You should’ve thought of that before messing around with some whore.” My voice wavers. I can’t do this now.

“You have to believe me. Nothing happened,” Ryan begs. “Please, yell at me or something, but whatever you do, don’t shut me out again. I can’t take it.”

“I’m a failure….” I say in a quiet voice. I can’t do this… I feel like I’m about to break down. I need to get away from him.

“No, you’re not!” Ryan insists. “Where is this coming from?” Ryan steps forward.

I back away. “Stop. Not here,” I shake my head. “Let me make this simple. You need to give me time to think. If you keep pushing me like this, I’m not coming home at all.”

Ryan freezes. “What is that supposed to mean?!” He shouts.

“It means I’ll leave. For good.” I narrow my eyes at him.

“You can’t do that…” Ryan mumbles. I try to walk around him, but he grasps my arm. “Riley, wait! Just fucking talk to me!”

I tear my arm away. “Were you listening?! You keep this up, and I’m gone. Just give me space.”

“How much time could you possibly need?” 

“More than what you’re giving me,” I snap. “Now, please, just leave me alone.” I walk past him, not looking back.

Olivia gives me a concerned look. “Was that really how you wanted that conversation to go?”

“What conversation, Olivia? I told him I’m not ready to talk. He just needs to stay away from me…” I growl. I pick Ashlynn up. “Now let’s leave.”

Ashlynn reaches out for Ryan as we leave the store. “Daddy!” She sobs. “Mommy, let me say bye to Daddy!”

I keep walking.

“Umm, Riles…” Olivia clears her throat. “You should at least let Ashlynn see him for a minute.”

“Everyone’s against me today,” I fume as I place Ashlynn on her feet. “Go.” I point.

Ashlynn nods and runs to Ryan.

Olivia bites her lip. I don’t like that look. That’s her thinking face.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s the dreaded day. We were supposed to go on the Michigan trip today. But I decided not to go. 

“Riley, are you sure you don’t mind us going?” Brendon asks as they load their bags in the car.

“I don’t mind. You took off work, you paid, and you deserve a few days off. Go. And please make sure you keep an eye on Ashlynn.” I sigh. “She can be a handful.”

“Daddy! Daddy!” Ashlynn sings as she’s getting buckled in her seat.

“Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.” Olivia assures me. “Thanks for taking us to the airport.”

“No problem,” I pause when I notice Brendon sitting in the driver’s seat. “So, if I’m driving, why is Brendon sitting in the driver’s seat?”

“Oh!” Olivia laughs nervously. “You’re driving the car back! No parking fees for us! But Brendon wants to drive to the airport.” Olivia explains. I guess?

“But that doesn’t make any sense.” I try to argue as I’m being stuffed into the car. Olivia slams the door in my face and hops into the front seat. “Why don’t I just drive and it will be easier to drop you off.” I glance next to me… why is my suitcase here? “Olivia? Why are you borrowing my suitcase?”

“Step on it, honey! She’s on to us!” Olivia panics.

“Huh? Onto what?!” I shout as Brendon speeds away from the house.

“Olivia, hush!” Brendon grits his teeth. 

“What’s going on?!” I demand.

“Mommy, you come with us!” Ashlynn cheers. 

“What?!” I glare at Olivia. 

“I’m sorry! It has to be done!” Olivia cowers. “You need this!”

“Wait, Ryan…” I realize that he’s going to be there… “Let me out right now!”

“Riley, don’t hate me!” Olivia whines. “I just want to help save your marriage!”

“Stop trying to help! Just let me out!” I growl. “I don’t want to talk to him! So, why would I want to spend a week with him?”

“Riley, just hear him out.” Brendon snaps. “I can’t take it anymore! Just give the poor man a moment to talk to you.”

“You’re both traitors!” I spit.

“Riley… Just trust us.” Olivia pleas. “I just want my best friend to be happy.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cross my arms and pivot my body away from my “friends”. I don’t want to talk to them. I can’t even look at them.

“Hey, they’re going to start boarding the plane soon.” Brendon announces. 

“So, then where is the rest of our group?” Olivia glances around the airport.

Ashlynn slides out of her seat and crosses in front of me. “Where’s Daddy? And Eric?” She tugs on my sleeve.

“Hush, honey. Sit down and be quiet.” I don’t look at her. Ashlynn shrinks back and sits down. What am I supposed to say to her? I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to see Ryan… 

Ryan…

“Yo.” A familiar voice catches my attention. Geoff!

I look to the seat across from me where Geoff and Griffon and seated. “I’m glad you’re here.” I sigh a breath of relief.

“Oh, so you talk to them, huh?” I hear Olivia mumble.

“So, where’s Lori?” I ask, completely ignoring Olivia’s comment.

“Oh, Ryan and the kids are coming. They were right behind us.” Geoff shrugs.

And, sure enough, there he was, dragging all the suitcases. Eric and Lori trail behind. “You know, you could have carried your own stuff.” Ryan grumbles. He stops when he notices me. He puts down the bags and pushes back his hair. “Riley…”

Why, hello, Ryan… 

Instead of responding, I look away.

“Mom!” Eric beams. 

“Hi, Eric.” I smile back. It’s good to see him again. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” He nods.

“Daddy, look! Auntie Livy’s plan worked!” Ashlynn hops out of her seat to hug Ryan.

“I see.” Ryan responds, his gaze still fixed on me. “So, um, Riley, how are you?”

I avoid his eyes. I notice Eric is carrying a small book. Perfect. And it’s just like him to bring something to read. “Oh, may I see that?” I hold my hand out to Eric.

“Uh, yeah. Here, Mom.” Eric hands me the booklet. “It’s about the resort. Me and Lori were look through it. We want to do all the fun stuff.” He explains.

I flip through the pages.

“Riley-” Ryan clears his throat.

“Oh, look! They have a kiddie hill for kids! Ashlynn, you want to go sledding?” I show Ashlynn the page.

Ashlynn doesn’t look down. “Mommy, Daddy’s talking to you.”

“Oh, and look! They have a snowman contest! We can totally win that, right sweetie?” I ignore her.

Ashlynn closes the booklet. “Mommy, didn’t you hear me?”

I don’t look up. I keep my eyes glued on the front cover. I feel everyone staring at me.

“Oh, hey, they’re starting to line up. Let’s find our place in line so we can get this trip started!” Brendon starts rallying everyone up, trying to ease the tension.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m in the middle seat. Ashlynn demanded that she has the window seat. Ryan, of course, managed to get to sit next to me on the plane. I don’t even look at him. He’s been well behaved so far. It’s two hours in and he hasn’t said a word to me. About an hour into our flight, Ashlynn drifts off.

“She’s out like a light.” Ryan leans over, trying to get a closer view of Ashlynn. I feel his shoulder brush against mine. I scoot away. He notices. “Riley,” Ryan places a hand under my chin. “Look at me.” 

I keep my face pointed away.

Ryan tilts my head in his direction. “Look at me.” Our eyes meet. I find myself getting lost in those cool blue eyes that I fell in love with. I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. “I’m sorry. I made sure Rebecca can’t bother me anymore. You can put all the blame on me, but for the love of god, just talk to me.” He begs.

“How…?” I finally speak. “How is she going to stay away from you?”

“She speaks.” Ryan laughs, breathlessly. “We transferred her to a different section. She’s going to be far away from me and I told Geoff to keep an eye out for her if she tries to see me. She means nothing to me, Riley. I love you.”

“It was my fault….” Here it comes… Tears begin to peek from my eyes. “I drove you away… Our relationship wasn’t this bad before… Getting married was a terrible idea. I bet you regret it…”

“Never.” Ryan raises his voice. He glances around to make sure he didn’t disturb other people. “Don’t say that,” He lowers his voice. “I’m in love with you and I don’t regret marrying you.”

“The fighting… the lying… our baby… It’s all my fault.” I choke back a sob. Don’t do this on a plane, Riley. There’s nowhere to run.

Ryan’s eyes water at mention of our baby. “No,” he says softly. “None of it was. Especially not our baby. It just happened. It had nothing to do with you.”

“You don’t have to lie,” I tear my eyes away from him. “I know this is all my fault… but that doesn’t make what you did less wrong. I can’t just forgive you… as much as I want to…”

“Give me a chance. Let me gain your trust again.” Ryan begs. He places his hand over mine.  “Please. I want to be a family again. And I’ll do anything to get that back.”

I pause before answering. “Let’s see what you got.” I sniffle.

I don’t even have to look at his face to know that he’s overjoyed. “You won’t regret this. Just wait. I’ll be the best husband ever.”

We’ll see about that, darling…

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once the plane lands, we pile into a shuttle bus that takes us straight to the resort. We check in and start heading to the rooms.

“Snoooooooooowww!!” Ashlynn sings as Ryan carries her on his back.

“Hold on, Princess. We’ll go play in the snow soon. We need to find our rooms first.” Ryan says, as he struggles with bags and a little Ashlynn on his back.

“Here we are,” Brendon stops in front of a room. “Okay. Kids, you are in 318. Olivia and I will take 320. Riley, you and Ryan can have 319.”

“It will be easier to bang when you’re not next door to the kids.” Olivia leans over and whispers to me.

I shoot her a warning glare. I’m still slightly upset with her. She shouldn’t even joke about that.

Ashlynn climbs off Ryan’s back and dashes into room 318. “Bouncy bed!”

“Here, Dad,” Eric takes some of the suitcases Ryan was carrying. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Okay, Lori,” Geoff places his hand on Lori’s shoulder. “Your mom and I will be up one floor. If you need anything, come find us.”

“Okay.” Lori nods.

“No, really,” Geoff adds. “Come find us. If anything bad happens-”

“Okaaaay,” Griffon interrupts. “We’re going to check out our room.” she starts dragging Geoff away.

“Wait! Damn it!” Geoff protests.

Ryan unlocks our room. “Let’s get settled.” He holds open the door for me.

I walk in the room. It’s simple. Just a king sized bed, a dresser and a T.V. 

“Well, this is nice.” Ryan walks in, placing our suitcases on the bed.

“Only one bed, huh?” I mumble.

“I’m sorry.” Ryan sits on the bed

“Well, I’ll go take Ashlynn to go play.” I start to walk away. 

“Wait,” Ryan pats the bed next to him. “Sit down for a minute.” 

I hesitate. “Why?”

“You’ll see. I’ll be nice, I promise.” Ryan chuckles.

Reluctantly, I sit next to him. Ryan drapes a blanket around my shoulders. He takes my hands and starts rubbing them. “What are you doing?” I tilt my head.

“You didn’t know you were coming here. So, you didn’t dress warm,” Ryan reminds me. “I noticed you were shivering on our way in. I want to make sure you’re warm.” He brings my hands to his lips. “Baby steps. We’re going to take this trip one step at a time until you’re comfortable enough with me again.” He says in between kisses. He looks at me and studies me before smiling. “You’re so beautiful.” 

His smiles causes my stomach to flip. It sends a warmth throughout my body. I can’t let it happen so easily. If only this wasn’t so complicated.

He tucks my hair behind my ear. “Go ahead and put something warm on. I’ll go get Ashlynn and we’ll wait in the hallway for you.” Ryan gets off the bed.

Wait, that’s it? Come back here... “Okay.” Is all I can manage to say. 

Once Ryan steps out of our room, I unzip my suitcase that Olivia packed for me. It’s well prepared. I’ll look through everything later. I change into a blue sweater and a pair of jeans. I slip on my coat and leave the room.

Ryan is sitting on the floor and Ashlynn is snuggled in his arms. “Oh, that was quick.” He nudges Ashlynn off. “Okay, let’s go play in the snow!”

“Yay!” Ashlynn bounces on her feet and sprints down the hallway.

“Eric will join us later. He’s going to hang out with Lori for a bit.” Ryan explains and he gets off the floor. 

“Okay.” I nod. I don’t know what else I can say to him. I want us to be okay again. But how?

Once we’re outside, I notice how dead it is. No one is out playing or skiing. “Huh. Weird.” Ryan scratches the back of his head. “Where is everyone?”

“Who knows? But let’s just stay out for a short time. Just to be sure.” I look up towards the cloudy sky. It wasn’t snowing too hard. Everything should be fine.

A small ball of snow fluffs out when it hits my coat. I look around. Ashlynn and Ryan are nowhere to be seen. Where did they go?

My eyes adjust to the blinding white. There’s a wall of snow. A small head peeks out from the other side of it. “Get down! Mommy’s going to see you!” Ryan says in a hushed tone. They built a snow fort? How long was I looking at the sky?

I smirk. “Gee, I wonder where they went.” I crouch down and start gathering snow. Once I have a good amount of snow gathered in my arms, I start tip toeing to their fort. I hear them talking once I get close enough.

“Let’s throw a snowball!” Ashlynn whispers.

“Wait, one of us should peek over to see where she is. It’s gotten quiet.” Ryan whispers back. “I’ll look…”

Once I see Ryan’s head beginning to poke up, I shower him with the snow I gathered. “HA! Now what?”

“Run, Ashlynn! The fort has been compromised!” Ryan shouts, scrambling out of the snow. 

“Nooooooooo!” Ashlynn sprints ahead.

Ryan and Ashlynn make a break for it. I’m close behind them.

We bend down to make snow balls. 

“Hurry, Daddy!” Ashlynn shouts, throwing poorly made snowballs in my direction.

“You two will never defeat me!” I laugh, pelting them with the snow. Shouldn’t Ryan be the villain here? He is the Mad King, after all.

“Daddy! Get her!” Ashlynn giggles as she shields herself.

Ryan throws a flurry of snowballs. “I must protect the Princess!”

I charge ahead, full speed towards Ryan. Suddenly, my feet lose traction. Am I on ice? I feel myself begin to slip. I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Riley!” I hear Ryan shout. I feel a body underneath me. What just happened? I open my eyes. Ryan is on his back and I’m on him. 

“Heh. Thanks for catching me.” I laugh nervously.

Ryan winces in pain as he lifts his head. He smiles. “Thanks for falling.”

I start to get off of him, when I feel a small body climb on. “Dog pile!” Ashlynn giggles.

“Ha ha! Okay, Ashlynn. You win. I give up.” I surrender to the four year old.

“Yay!” Ashlynn cheers.

Ryan wraps his arms around us both. “I love my girls.” I hear him mutter under his breath.

Ryan releases us and we start to stand up. 

I look towards the resort. A figure with blonde hair is walking towards us. Olivia. “Are you guys crazy?! Get in the lodge! There’s a blizzard on the way!” Olivia waves in the distance.

Out of breath, Ryan and I try to keep up with Ashlynn as she sprints toward Olivia. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We make sure that Ashlynn is changed into something dry before Eric takes her to play in the arcade area. Ryan and I walk silently into our room. “So,” Ryan breaks the silence. “What would you like to do?”

“Well, let’s change into something dry before we get sick.” I shiver as I open my suitcase. Ryan turns his back to me so I can get changed. He really is trying to take it slow. I can tell. I change into a long sleeved shirt and some sweatpants. Ryan can do whatever he wants. I don’t feel like leaving the room anymore today.

With his back still turned, Ryan removes his coat and peels off his shirt. My eyes are glued shamelessly to his bare upper body. I should probably look away. Be strong, Riley. You can’t just forgive him like that.

But, let me look a few seconds more.

Ryan slips on a white t shirt and changes into his pajama pants. “Now,” he turns back around. “What do you want to do?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.” I feel my teeth clatter. Even though I’m dry, the cold still lingers.

Ryan steps closer to me. “You’re cold.”

“Nice observation.” I mumble.

Ryan chuckles. “Ah, there’s my smart ass wife,” He takes my hand and leads me to the bed. “Sit. Let’s get you warm again.” I sit on the bed next to him. He starts rubbing my hands. “You always did get cold easily.”

“Yeah. I know.” I don’t know what else to say to him. I want things to be normal again. Maybe it’s not him I can’t forgive. It’s myself.

Ryan brings my hands his lips, planting small kisses.

“My hands aren’t the only thing cold.” I mumble, trying not to blush.

Ryan smiles. “I’m sorry. Come here.” He pulls me close, wrapping his arms around me. I missed this feeling. Being near him, feeling his warmth. I hate being away from him.

I can’t let this go so easily. I feel like I’m supposed to fight him. But for some reason… I can’t pull away. I feel myself inch closer to his lips.

“Riley, you don’t have to-” Ryan tilts his head.

“Just shut up and kiss me.” I cut him off.

Ryan tries to hold back a smile. “Well, who am I to deny you of what you ask?” He says before pressing his soft lips against mine. My lips move with his. He wraps his arms around my waist, deepening the kiss. Without breaking, I move to straddle his waist. I missed this feeling. That spark I felt every time his lips connect with mine. 

Ryan pulls away. “We should cool it for a bit.” Ryan pants.

“Why?” I snap. I didn’t mean to. I… I just missed him…

“I said we would go a bit slow. This is not slow. I don’t want to ruin anything.” He explains.

He’s right. God damn it.

I slide off his lap and curl under the covers. 

Ryan sighs. He gets off the bed and flips out the light. He climbs into bed with me. “Are you angry?” He whispers.

I shake my head. “No.” I growl.

“You sound angry.” He says. I feel his arm slip around my waist. 

“Can this just be over?” I mutter.

“What do you mean?” 

“I want this to be okay again,” I turn around, facing him. “I want to be able to kiss you again. I want to be able to be around you without fighting with myself about it. Just let’s go back to normal. At least for one night.”

“Is that what you want?”

Instead of answering, I roll on top of him. “I want you,” There’s no point in denying this anymore. “That’s what I want.”

I press my lips to his. Ryan moans into the kiss…

The room door springs open. “Riley!” Olivia sings. “Hope you don’t mind. I used the spare key to get in. Want to go look around the resort? Brendon and I found the spa. Maybe you want to go with us to that instead? Man, why is it dark in here?”

Without answering any of her questions, I jump out of bed, pushing her out the door. “Out!” I growl as I slam the door behind me.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I get it! Go, Ryan!” Olivia cheers on the other side of the door.

I stomp over to the bed.

“Man, she’s so good at that. Shall we turn in?” Ryan asks.

I shake my head. “Nope, she’s not stopping us this time.” I climb back on him. “I’m getting what I want this time and nothing is stopping me.”

Almost on cue, a tree branch collapses and breaks our window, allowing the cold, blizzard to blow through our room.

“… Riley…”

“Nope! This is happening now!” I shake my head. Nothing is stopping me!

“Riley, we can’t do this with snow piling in our room…”

“Sure we can! We have blankets!” I insist.

Ryan sighs and carries me over his shoulder. “Let’s go down in the lobby.”

“No.” I pout as I’m being carried away.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We apologize for the inconvenience,” the concierge sighs. “We will set you up with a new room. What bad luck. Your room is the only one that has been affected the storm.”

“Yeah, so weird.” I growl.

“It’s okay, Riley,” Ryan wraps his arm around my shoulders. “It’s just a coincidence.”

Yeah, sure. A very odd coincidence. 

“Well, we have one room left and I’m sure you’ll be very happy with the location!” The concierge hands us our new keys. “We’ve upgraded you to the honeymoon suite. We hope you enjoy.”

Ryan and I exchange glances. Ryan raises an eyebrow. I look away, blushing.

“Well, I guess if we have no choice,” I blush. “Let’s go check it out.” I start heading for the elevator.

Ryan thanks the employee and catches up to me. “See? This was a good thing!”

I start to mumble to myself. What was I thinking? I almost gave in to Ryan. He can’t win that easily. I have to hold out… Just for a bit longer.


	12. Inner Struggle Pt. 2

I rub my eyes as I follow behind a hyper Ashlynn. She’s ready for another day to play in the snow. I don’t know how we’re going to get her back home. She’s having too much fun here.

“Mommy!” Ashlynn turns around. “Let’s goooo!”

“Hold on, sweetie.” I pant. I just can’t keep up with her.

“Is Daddy coming outside, too?” Ashlynn asks once I catch up to her.

“Not sure. Daddy wasn’t in the room when I woke up.” I answer her. After our little… incident with our room, we had to get a new one. Ryan was completely respectful and understood that we weren’t going to continue with what almost happened.

But, I have to wonder… Where did he go this morning?

We step outside. There are plenty of people outside, skiing. Looks like there won’t be a storm today. That’s always a good sign. 

“Mommy,” Ashlynn tugs on my coat. “Let’s go sledding.”

“Okay, I’ll go rent you a tiny sled and you can go on the kiddie hills.” I start pulling out my wallet.

“No, you, too.” Ashlynn shakes her head.

“You want me to sled with you?” I raise an eyebrow. I glance over to the kiddie hills. They probably reach up to my waist. This should be interesting…

I get a sled as Ashlynn bounces up and down, singing “Sledding with Mommy will be so much fun.” Over and over. 

“Okay,” I say once we reach the top of the (small) hill. “Are you sure? Sledding will Mommy might be boring.”

“No! You should have fun, too.” Ashlynn insists. 

Well, how can you argue with a four year old? I sit in the sled and Ashlynn scramble to sit in my lap. “Okay, here we go,” I fake a smile. We push off and slide down the hill. “Weeeeee!” I try to remain energetic on the very short lived ride. 

“Again!” Ashlynn raises her hands.

After a few rides down the hill, Ashlynn starts getting quiet. 

“Hmm?” I crouch down to her level. “Everything okay, sweetie?”

“I’m not ready to leave yet.” Ashlynn is looking down at the fluffy snow.

“We still have three more days.” I pet her head. I knew this was going to come up eventually.

“I know… But…” Ashlynn kicks a bit of snow.

“Ashlynn.” I encourage her to talk.

“I like Auntie Livy…” Ashlynn stalls. “But I don’t want to live there anymore…” 

My face drops into a frown. I never stopped to think about what Ashlynn thought about this whole situation. “Honey-” 

“Can we go home?” Ashlynn asks. “Can we? I just want to go back with Daddy.”

“It’s not that simple…” I try to reason. She doesn’t understand. 

“Why not?” Ashlynn looks up, eyes on the verge of tears. “We just drive home. That’s all.” 

I bite my lip. “Well, you can go home to Daddy whenever you want. I won’t stop you.” 

“No, you have to come home, too…” Ashlynn whines. “I don’t like this anymore…” 

“I’m sorry,” I shake my head. “I can’t promise that. Why don’t we keep sledding, huh? You love the kiddie hills.” I stand up. 

Ashlynn stands in the same spot. “I just… I want Mommy and Daddy…” 

I let out a sigh. “Ashlynn…” I feel a body stand next to me. 

“What’s wrong, Princess?” Ryan kneels down to her level. 

“Where the hell have you been?” I cross my arms.

“What’s wrong with Ashlynn?” Ryan asks, ignoring my question. He looks up to me. Something about those blue eyes sends a shiver down my spine. It’s safe to say I’m still attracted to him… no matter how hard I try not to be. 

“I…” I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about this now. “Why don’t we talk about this later?” 

Ryan nods and picks up Ashlynn. “I saw you were sledding with Mommy. I’m jealous! Why don’t I sled with you a few times?” Ryan offers.

Ashlynn starts to cheer up. “Yeah. Okay.” She nods. 

“Riley,” Ryan turns to me. “Why don’t you go to the spa for a bit? Geoff and Griffon are there.” 

A spa, huh? That’s sounds nice. Especially after being in the snow. “Sure. Where will you be after this?” 

“I’ll head back into the room in about an hour or two,” Ryan promises. “Meet me there later? There’s something we should talk about.”

Oh, great. More talking…

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

I didn’t head over to the spa right away. Olivia stopped me on the way there and we browsed the gift shop. I step into the spa. Hopefully Geoff and Griffon will still be here. I tighten my robe and start looking around. There appears to be a lot of things here. Massages, a Jacuzzi, acupuncture, and saunas. 

I spot Geoff, relaxing in the Jacuzzi. His eyes are closed as he leans back, enjoying the heat. I walk over to him, and sit on the ground next to him. “Hey, Geoff.” 

Geoff cracks open an eye. “Riley. What’s up?” 

“Where’s Griffon?” “Went to get a massage. She’ll be back soon. Come join me.” Geoff pats the spot next to him. 

I remove my robe. The rental one piece swimsuit is not the most flattering on me. I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s not like I’m here to impress anyone. I step into the hot tub, being immediately engulfed by the embrace of the warm, bubbly water.

“What’s on your mind? I know that face.” Geoff comments. I sigh, sinking further into the hot tub. 

“It’s just… I don’t know,” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “What’s going to happen after all of this?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Ashlynn asked if we could go back home after the trip. I’m not sure I’m ready to do that. I… uh… I assume you know what’s going on with me and Ryan?”

“He told me about it at work,” Geoff nods. “He’s pretty torn up about it, Riley.” 

“So, you think he didn’t do anything wrong?” I huff. 

“Did I say that? I’m not saying he’s right. What he did was wrong. But he’s human. And he definitely stayed loyal. He could have slept with Rebecca, but he didn’t.”

“Great,” I roll my eyes. “He gets the “Thanks for not being as much of an ass as you could’ve been” award. Good for him.” 

“What’s really bugging you about this? It seems you want to forgive him. You’re fighting yourself.” Geoff observes. 

“Ryan told you about last night, huh?” I growl. Great, Geoff and Ryan gossip more than married women. 

“I kinda forced it out of him. That was terrible timing,” Geoff snickers. “But, really, what’s the problem?” 

“I feel like…” I pause. “I pushed him to do it, you know? Maybe I wasn’t the best wife I could have been. You ever feel like… you regret marrying the person you married? Not because you don’t love them. It’s because you feel like they deserve better.” 

Geoff pauses before answering. “There are moments,” Geoff admits. “Where I feel weak. Sometimes my mind starts to wander and I start thinking what if…? What if I married someone else? What if I met another woman before, how different would things be? I can’t blame Ryan for having an interest somewhere else. I’ve done it once myself. But, at the end of the day, I know I love my wife and I wouldn’t change our marriage for the world.” 

Geoff had an interest in someone else? Who? “So…What should I do?” 

“Stop blaming yourself,” Geoff shrugs. “Stop blaming yourself for Rebecca, your mistakes, the baby,” Geoff says. I feel a small pain in my chest. “Stop thinking that you don’t deserve him. You both are human. You’re going to make mistakes. Love can overcome anything. It all depends on the work you put into it.” 

We sit in silence. I take in his words. It’s not my fault. I have to keep telling myself that. So what if we made mistakes. Am I ready to give up on our relationship? 

“Well, we’re leaving in a few days. What are you going to do?” Geoff asks. 

“I don’t know…” I shake my head. “I need to think about this.” I stand up, letting the water drip from my body. 

“Leaving already?” 

“Yeah,” I wrap a towel around my body. “I’m going to wait for Ryan in the room. He says we need to talk. I’ll see you later Geoff. Thanks for talking with me,” I start walking away. I stop. “Oh, Geoff…” I hesitate. “You said… you said that you fell for someone else?” 

Geoff nods. 

“Who… I mean, how did you get over them?” I ask. 

Geoff sighs, relaxing his shoulders. “Like I said, I love my wife. But… what really got me over her was the fact that I knew she was married. She was happy, and I respected that. I’m happy as long as she’s happy. I got over it by realizing… I guess I’ll never have her. I loved that girl in a way that’s different that everyone else. But I love my family more and I would never put that in jeopardy.”

I nod. “Do you think you would have married her if you met her first?” 

Geoff pauses before answering. “We’ll never know, right? Why be tortured over what could have been?” 

Makes sense. I shouldn’t be worried. Ryan is different than Geoff. Ryan would never want to marry that girl. He’s with me. “Bye, Geoff.” I smile and wave. 

“There’s that happy face I’m used to seeing,” Geoff give a genuine smile. “Later, Riley.” 

I walk up to my room, alone. It’s not my fault. Rebecca just got in our way, our marriage isn’t perfect, but it can be fixed, and the baby... It wasn’t my fault. It was just an unfortunate accident. It still hurts, but now I can try to come to terms with this. It wasn’t my fault, so I need to stop thinking that it was. I walk into the room, completely surprised to find Ryan in the room. 

“Oh, uh,” He stammers. “I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.” 

“What are you doing?” I peer at the roses in his hands. 

“Okay,” Ryan sighs. “So, this morning, I left to find something super romantic, but I couldn’t think of anything but this,” Ryan hands me the bouquet of red roses. One rose, right in the middle, is white. “Read the card.” Ryan points to the small card attached to the bouquet.

I open the card and read. “There’s always that one rose that stands out in the crowd… and that one is you.” I can’t help but smile. 

“I thought this was a good way to start this conversation,” Ryan clears his throat. He holds out his hand to me. I take it and he leads me to the bed. We sit next to each other. “I knew that I wanted to marry you the second we met,” Ryan admits. “Lately, I know things have been less than perfect. But… I still take time out of my day to feel grateful that you’re still with me. You’re here, willing to make this work, and I couldn’t ask for more,” Ryan cups his hands around my face. “Words can’t even begin to describe the amount of joy you have given me. You have been a loving, supportive wife, you’ve been my best friend throughout the years, and you provided me with a beautiful little girl. I couldn’t even begin to imagine where I would be without you. I don’t know what I have to do to make you love me again, but I’ll do it,” Ryan insists. “If you want me to quit my job, I’ll do it and find something else. You want me to… shit, I don’t know… swim an ocean? Sure. I might drown, but I’ll do it if you ask me to,” Ryan gulps. His eyes begin to water. “Fuck, romance is not my forte, you know this. But, for you, I’d do anything. Please, I just need us to be in love again. I need this.” 

I didn’t realize that my eyes were watering along with him until Ryan wipes a tear away. “What’s wrong, Riley?” 

“What makes you think I fell out of love with you, you smug bastard?” I whisper. 

Ryan lets out a breathy, almost relieved laugh. “You still love me?” 

“Of course, stupid,” I place the flowers on the stand next to the bed. “I’ve never stopped,” I shake my head. “Yeah… lately, our relationship hasn’t been going well… And I almost wanted to quit. But we need each other,” I rest my forehead on his. “We can fix this… In fact, we’re going the right direction. I see that you’re dedicated to me… and I’m ready to get passed this.” 

Ryan doesn’t respond. He smashes his lips to mine for a needy kiss. My hands pull at his shirt. 

“Riley,” Ryan breaths as he pulls away. “Is this okay?” 

“Ryan.” I frown. 

“I just want to be sure…” Ryan mumbles. 

I slide off the robe and Ryan eyes are drawn to my body. Only Ryan could look at me in this horrible swimsuit and still look at me like I’m the sexiest thing alive. “And I’m telling you that I want this. What’s holding you back?” 

Ryan’s finger tips slide my swimsuit straps off my shoulders. “I’m… afraid.” Ryan admits, placing timid kisses on my shoulder. The boldness he had literally a few seconds ago is quickly diminishing. 

“Afraid?” I raise my eyebrows. “The big and bad Mad King is afraid?” 

There’s a gleam in his eyes. I knew he can’t resist being called the Mad King. “A king never shows his fear to his people,” A soft smile curves from his lips. “But a real king… is not afraid of tearing his walls down and exposing his true insecurities to his queen… One of those insecurities, my dear, is losing you,” His hands gently brush across my thighs. “I never want to lose you again.” 

“You never will.” I promise him, cupping his hands around his face, drawing him in for another kiss. Without pulling away, Ryan guides me down as he hovers over me. He peels off my swimsuit and I feel goosebumps rise on my skin at the sudden exposure of the cool air. Ryan presses into me, showing me how much he missed me. How much he needs me. My fingers trail down his torso, earning a shiver from him. My fingers halt right above his belt. 

“Riley,” he pulls away, begging. “Please.” 

It’s not often that I get to hear him like this, but I enjoy it ever time it occurs. “What are you asking me to do?” I ask, teasing him slightly as my fingers rub the front of his jeans. 

“Stop being mean,” A soft moan escapes his lips. “I just want you. It’s been far too long for me. I need to feel everything.” Only my Ryan knows what words to say to make me melt. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Four hours. Four needy, loving, long hours. It’s been so long. I didn’t know that either one of us still had it in us. 

I feel Ryan’s body pressed behind me, peppering kisses on my cheeks, neck, shoulders, and anywhere else his lips can reach without having to move too much. 

“We should probably get up and get food.” I tell him, running my hands through his light brown hair. I really missed this. I missed being so close to him. Ryan’s arms tighten around me. 

“No,” He whines, sounding tired. “I just want to lay here forever… and then go again for another round as soon as I get the stamina.” 

“We need to make sure the kids have eaten.” I remind him. 

“You’re right,” He sighs. “Just let me hold you a little longer.” 

I turn around to face him. His sweet face is so close to mine. I plant kiss on the corner of his mouth, teasing him. Every time he tries to kiss my full on, I avoid him. 

“Stop that,” Ryan chuckles. “Let me kiss you,” He rolls on top, holding me down. He cups his hands around my face to ensure I can’t escape his kiss. He pulls away as he gently bites my bottom lip, dragging his teeth across. “I love you.” He breathes out. 

“I love you,” I reply, earning one more kiss. “Let’s go check on everyone. Maybe we can all go out for dinner.” “Sounds good to me.” 

Ryan stretches before moving out of bed. He starts picking up his clothes from the floor. 

I send out a text to Olivia and Geoff, asking them to get everyone and meet us in the lobby. Now, we wait for a response. 

I swing my legs off the side of the bed and stand up. My legs begin to wobble. It has been a few hours since I last stood up… I almost forgot how good Ryan was. 

I start getting dressed, throwing on whatever was laying around in the room. 

“Riley.” Ryan says in a soft voice. 

I glance over in his direction. “Hm?”

“Does this mean you’re coming home?” Ryan asks, his voice just above a whisper. 

I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist. “Of course. I wouldn’t just fuck you and then leave.” 

Ryan sighs a breath of relief. His eyes turn glassy. “I’m glad.” 

“Hey,” I run my thumbs under his eyes. “Don’t start this. Since when do you cry this much?” I tease. 

“I can’t help it if I’m happy.” Ryan replies. 

“Let’s go meet everyone downstairs.” I ruffle his hair. 

We walk out of our room and head down the hall, side by side. Ryan reaches over and intertwines his fingers with mine. I give his hand a tight squeeze. Maybe this is it. Maybe we can be okay now.

Finally. 

We walk to the lobby. Everyone is waiting for us. Olivia is the first to notice. 

“Hey,” She smiles. Her eyes are drawn to our hands. “Did we have a good day? What do you two want to eat?” 

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Ryan answers. “It’s up to you guys.” 

Ryan and I stand off to the side as everyone begins to talk. While the group starts to decide among themselves, Olivia sneaks over to us. “I assume everything is okay now?” Olivia whispers to me. “You’re absolutely glowing.” 

I gently elbow her in the ribs. “You shut your mouth.” I giggle. 

“I’m just glad that things are going to be fine. I’m glad that you’re happy, Riley. That’s all I could ask for.” Olivia places her hand on my shoulder. 

Huh. That’s familiar. 

I glance over at Geoff. He’s looking at us, not paying attention to the group. Geoff offers a small smile when he realizes that Ryan and I are okay now. 

I’m so glad that I have good friends like them. I wouldn’t be able to get through something like this without them. 

“I want cake for dinner!” Ashlynn shouts. 

“We can’t eat just cake!” Eric scolds. 

“Hmm… is there a Cheesecake Factory around here? Then, we can eat, then have dessert.” Lori suggests. 

“I’ll start looking it up…” Griffon pulls out her phone. 

“I kinda want steak…” Brendon suggests. 

“I what about sushi!” Olivia adds, joining the conversation. 

“What’s sushi?” Ashlynn asks. 

“Raw fish.” Eric answers, in a less than enthusiastic tone. 

“Eww! Auntie Livy!” Ashlynn frowns. 

“Fine! Everyone is so picky!” Olivia whines. 

Ryan leans in and whispers. “They’re all so preoccupied with food, they haven’t even noticed us,” Ryan chuckles. “What are we going to do with them all?” 

I shake my head. “They’re hopeless.” I sigh as I watch them all argue what they want to eat. Well, at least things are starting to get back to normal.


End file.
